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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26005894">The things we do for love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aofie/pseuds/Aofie'>Aofie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Once Upon a Time (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Fantasy, F/F, TiganaFic, enemies to lovers to enemies?</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:14:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>26,063</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26005894</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aofie/pseuds/Aofie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After an insane act of revenge dealt by sorceress Queen Regina, ten-year-old Emma is left orphaned and abandoned. She vows to have revenge of her own and after eight years of careful planning sets herself on a journey to become one of the Queen’s coveted Serai, intending to get close enough to the Queen to assassinate her. She arrives at the Queen’s court with nothing more than her exceptional beauty and a fierce hatred for Regina in her heart.</p><p>Ten years later, Emma wonders what happened to her revenge, if she will ever manage to complete the task she set herself a decade earlier, and how on earth she managed to fall in love with the very woman she has vowed to destroy?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Baelfire | Neal Cassidy/Emma Swan, Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan, Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Huntsman | Sheriff Graham, Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Robin Hood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>92</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Swan Queen Supernova V: Forever Starstruck</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Part One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/cesibear/gifts">cesibear</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So this fic is loosely based off part of the book, Tigana by Guy Gavrial Kay, with Emma in the role of Dianora and Regina in the role of Brandin. For those who have read the book - I changed the ending completely for this fic! </p><p>Thanks to the amazing Supernova Mods for all they do, and to the art created for this fic; I can't wait to see it! </p><p>A huge thanks to my sister who made me read Tigana which led to this creation, and who faithfully editied it for me; You still owe me one missy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Emma stands on her balcony, watching the streets below. Her room has one of the best views of the city, thanks to her position in the Serai. The palace castle is set on the edge of the forest and the biggest city in the kingdom and her room looks right out onto the palace market square; this is what it means to be one of the most influential women in the kingdom. The Serai itself takes up the entire west wing of the castle, through several floors, and position within is based on both experience and the Queen’s favour.</p><p>Emma is one of the oldest, second only to Robin, who has both been here longer than her by a few years but also has the added bonus of being male. He is Emma’s only real competition at present but thankfully he lacks in personality. He is also getting older, grey steaks through his hair and his neatly trimmed beard, and every time Emma looks at him she smirks to herself as she considers that soon he will age out of the Serai altogether. Of course, that will then leave Emma as the oldest, and that is both a powerful and a precarious position. Still, she is a good five years younger than he is, and even though she is not a man, she also isn’t lacking in talents and appeal.</p><p>She mentioned this once to Regina, standing in front of her in all her naked glory and showing off her assets. Regina had laughed and said that while it was indeed still a man’s world, she was a Queen and therefore knew all the assets that a woman had. Then she had swept Emma up and kissed her soundly, reminding her that her brain was still the most wonderful asset she had, despite being the most beautiful creature the gods had created.</p><p>Emma remembers how her stomach had flipped at the declaration. To cover it, she had smirked and pointed out that it was just as well Robin was a man as he didn’t seem to have much else going for him, certainly not brains or looks. Regina had frowned at her impertinence and spent the next several hours reminding her of her position. It was an enjoyable evening.</p><p>She is interrupted from her musings by a knock at the door; she crosses the room to admit the attendant who is bringing her morning coffee. Emma looks into the mug and then at the attendant with a raised eyebrow. “Less cream next time, please.” She prefers her coffee strong with only a touch of cream, or preferably none at all. August won’t let her drink it black however, he says it will stain her teeth and she needs to remain beautiful for as long as possible. It is the same reason she isn’t allowed to eat as many sweets as she would like, and next to no chocolate at all. She isn’t worried about her appearance; she was blessed with good genes. Her mother’s child through and through, though thankfully she has her father’s light hair.</p><p>The attendant looks at her, terrified. “Yes of course Miss Swan. I will do better in the future I assure you.” He stumbles slightly on the way out and Emma sighs. He will be gone within a week if he does not do better. She wonders what happened to the last attendant, he had been smart and respectful. And while he also was probably terrified of making a mistake in front of her, he had never been so stupid as to show it. She takes a sip of the coffee and grimaces slightly. It is too weak as well as too creamy… Regina would laugh at her distress no doubt. She once told Emma her addiction to coffee would be the end of her. Emma had said quite plainly that it was not an addiction at all, she just liked the taste and Regina drank it herself so she should know better than to chastise her for it. Regina was in one of her better moods so had teased her, stating that wine was still her drink of choice, especially after noon. She could not understand how Emma drank coffee morning noon and night. Emma had retorted that coffee was in fact the nectar of the gods, and no one could convince her otherwise.</p><p>She takes the coffee from the breakfast trolley and heads back to the balcony, pulling her sky-blue silken robe around her. The morning summer air is still slightly cool, the breeze coming in from over the mountains. She takes another sip of her coffee and makes a face. The attendant must improve quickly or go, she can’t be expected to drink this every day. Her thoughts drift back to Regina and she frowns, the same discomfort arising within her. She wonders if she will ever fulfil the vow she made when she first came here. It has been ten years, and she had been young and naïve… barely nineteen years of age. How very little she had known about the world then; she’d had no idea. Despite this, her vow remains. It has to, she cannot forget her family, nor the need for vengeance for what was done to them.  She remembers when she first came to the Serai, the long voyage from Stiltskin on a Tribute ship, along with five others, four men and one other woman. She remembers their side eyed looks at her throughout the journey, and how they shunned her. She assumes they intended her to feel inferior, to feel as though she would never be chosen. She knew better, and when she stood in front of Regina in her aqua blue dress, a color that drew the green out of her eyes perfectly, she had never felt more confident or powerful. Regina had looked at her, and despite her cold stare and the absolute hate Emma had felt for her in her heart she knew she would be chosen. She was the only one of the six to be chosen that day. In fact she was the only one chosen from all five Tribute ships.</p><p>That night Regina had called for her, and shown her how to pleasure a woman. Emma had learned quickly, in no particular haste to enact her revenge. She’d wanted to take her time, wait for the moment in which she could cause the most harm to Regina. So she waited, and the years went by, and she grew closer and closer to the woman she had vowed to kill.</p><p>And now here, ten years later, she can’t bring herself to consider that she still has not managed to kill her. The Regina she has grown to know is not quite the one she expected. She is not the ruthless queen who slaughtered her family and removed the memory of her parents’ names from the realm. She is not the Queen who tore apart her homeland and rebuilt it in her own image. She is not the Queen who Emma hated with every fibre of her being. She is something, someone, else.</p><p>There is a power that comes with the Serai, particularly from being at the top. She is given respect, and a smidgeon of fear. It is well known that she has influence on Regina, and those with the intimate ear of the Queen are always treated exceptionally. Regina herself would have it no other way. The question she is now faced with is if she is going to do anything with that power? Or is she going to spend the next decade doing nothing until she is used up and retired as so many before her have been?</p><p>She wonders what Regina would do if she found out who she really is. Despite the number of years that have passed she knows Regina’s hate for her parents is still strong, so strong that it overpowers everything else in her life, and at such juxtaposition to the rest of her personality. No… Emma is sure that Regina would kill her if she knew the truth. But she fantasises about it all the same. In her dreams she imagines Regina forgiving her parents and letting their names come back into the world. She imagines Regina declaring her love for Emma above all others, and above the hate she has been nursing all this time.  She imagines a lot that she is sure will never happen. Regina does not love her, despite her being a favourite, and Emma must remember that the next time she finds her resolve wavering.</p><p>She is interrupted from her thoughts by a gentle knock at the door. She turns to see August letting himself in and crossing to stand at the foot of her bed. August has been with her from the very beginning. When she first crossed the threshold of the Serai August was waiting for her, he has been the most faithful attendant all these years, and the closest friend she could ask for. However even he does not know her true identity.</p><p>“I have your dress for you,” he says lightly, as he pulls a gown out of its plastic covering and lays it on the bed. “I believe it will suit you very well.”</p><p>Emma rises to join him, and she gazes down at the gown. It is a rich red in colour, a bold move for sure. Long sleeves and a sweetheart neckline, with a full skirt. It is beautiful. “It’s stunning August. Thank you.” She brushes his arm slightly to display how pleased she is. It is the most she can do. They are not allowed to embrace or have any other kind of physical contact. That pleasure is for Regina only.</p><p>“I bought you something else as well.” He smiles and holds out a small wooden box.</p><p>Emma raise her eyebrows in surprise and takes it from him. They had spoken only of the new dress. Inside the box is a stunning necklace, gold filigree and diamonds. It is a simple choker but the delicate weaves of the filigree make it the most stunning piece of jewellery she has ever seen. It must have been expensive. “August, it’s beautiful.”</p><p>“I’m glad you approve.”</p><p>“Am I going to have to give up all my treats for the next year?” Emma asks, as she hands the box back to him.</p><p>“I know we did not discuss this specifically, but I feel that you need to make a strong impression tonight. And you have received many more payments this month than usual.”</p><p>Emma tilts her head. “You didn’t answer my question.”</p><p>August laughs. “No I didn’t. You may have to give up eating as many treats yes, though that can only be good for you. I have never met anyone who eats as badly yet looks as good as you do.”</p><p>“Stress.” Emma counters absently.</p><p>“I’d believe that if I didn’t know better.”</p><p>“The coffee was terrible this morning. That man made it too weak and too creamy. He needs to go if he can’t get a simple coffee right.”</p><p>August coughs slightly. “Ah, yes. That may have been my fault.”</p><p>“May have been?” Emma narrows her eyes.</p><p>“Emma, you haven’t slept properly in over two months.”</p><p>“And?” She cannot believe he would do this to her. Coffee is the only thing that keeps her going these days.</p><p>“You know as well as I do that coffee has a negative effect on the sleep cycle. It’s my job to look out for you and care for you. You must sleep. You can’t go around with large bags under your eyes. Especially now.”</p><p>Emma laughs. “What does that mean exactly?”</p><p>“Ruby.” August states, as if this is enough information.</p><p>It probably is. Emma and Ruby had clashed immediately. In fact Ruby had clashed with most of the Serai immediately. She is very young, only nineteen years of age and quite beautiful with long dark hair and even longer legs. However, she is not interested in staying where she belongs. Currently she sits at the bottom of the Serai as the youngest and least experienced. Not pleased with this, she has made her intent to reach the top as soon as possible very clear. It doesn’t sit well with anyone. There is an order to things, a process, and Ruby is ruffling the wrong feathers.</p><p>Emma is not even remotely worried. “What has she done now?”</p><p>“The latest rumours state she is uh…”</p><p>Emma’s eyes sparkle with mirth. “Do tell August, what is the little tramp saying now?”</p><p>“She apparently is the most sublime lover, well experienced for one her age and able to satisfy any man or woman over and over again.”</p><p>Emma shakes her head and lets out a laugh. She can’t wait to tell Regina and can only imagine her reaction. Regina prefers to train her own lovers, and the thought of sleeping with a woman who has that much experience is nothing but a huge turn off for her. They have spoken about Ruby on many occasions. Regina does not like her, and in fact she has only taken Ruby to bed once on the first night of her arrival which is customary. Since then she has taken very little interest.</p><p>“You should not laugh Emma. Ruby is causing problems. As one of the senior members of the Serai you need to put her in her place before she begins to cause problems for you. You cannot be seen to indulge her.”</p><p>“I don’t indulge her. I just don’t see her as threat. She is little less than ridiculous. Let Robin deal with her. Or Graham. Either of them would do nicely.” She cocks her head. “Actually I’m not sure why Robin hasn’t taken her to task already, she must be irritating him. And he has more to fear from her than I do.”</p><p>“Robin feels it is not appropriate for a man to have words with a woman. He is worried about how it would look. Graham I am sure feels similarly. They aren’t wrong you know. It could in particular damage Graham’s reputation.” August says diplomatically.</p><p>“I seriously doubt that.” Emma raises an eyebrow in direct copy of Regina.</p><p>“If both yourself and Robin declined the task? But yet he took it upon himself?”</p><p>Emma just shrugs. “I’m not concerned with others August. If they have an issue with her they can discuss it with her, or with Regina. I don’t want any part of it.”</p><p>“You don’t think Regina would appreciate the intervention? To prevent her being drawn into it herself?” August nudges gently.</p><p>“Ugh August, you frustrate me! Fine, I will consider it. But first speak to Robin again and see if you can talk him into it. Just because he’s a man and old doesn’t mean he can offload his responsibilities onto me.” Emma all but stamps her foot in her annoyance. Stupid insufferable man.</p><p>August bows his head in a way he knows irritates her. “As you wish. I will seek an audience with John and have him take the issue to Robin.”</p><p>“Good. Now can we forget all this so I may have some peace before this evening?”</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>It is later that evening when they gather in the lower Serai ready to attend the Queen’s court and reception. As expected, only three of them have been chosen to attend. Herself, Robin and Graham. Robin will enter first, dressed to the nines in a lavish forest green ensemble that Emma thinks makes him look like a tree. Then she will enter, knowing all eyes will be on her. Graham will enter after her. He is dressed in black pants, and a black velvet suit jacket with a black silk shirt underneath it. It’s an interesting choice, and Emma can’t help thinking that he carries it quite well.</p><p>“Looking stunning as always Emma,” he whispers into her ear as they wait.</p><p>“I could say the same thing to you Graham,” she whispers back.</p><p>“You could?” he asks hopefully.</p><p>“But I won’t,” she laughs.</p><p>“Shhhh” murmurs Robin.</p><p>After a few moments the doors open and they are ushered out of the Serai and towards the great hall. They enter one by one, then separate immediately to entertain the guests as they arrive. Regina will not appear for some time yet. She likes to appear with little fanfare to keep her subjects on their toes, and Emma always keeps her eyes out so she does not miss her arrival.</p><p>As she circles the room she nods to the accountant Midas and his daughter Abigail. Abigail is young, new to society at only sixteen years old and as Emma watches the way her eyes dart around the room and the inexperienced coils of her blond hair, she can’t help but see a little of her younger self in Abigail. Her father Mitis is one of Regina’s advisors. While he considers himself to be indispensable to the Queen, Regina has confided to Emma many times that she despises the man, and for a good trustworthy advisor she would never look within her own kingdom.</p><p>She feels a twist in her chest as she remembers her own father. It was her mother who had been ruler, and he her most excellent advisor, ally and confidant. Regina has none of that trust, not with anyone. Her chief of staff and (some said) closest friend Maleficent would be the only one who might share a bond of trust with Regina, but Regina herself would most likely disagree.</p><p>She nods now to Abigail, who nods back nervously smoothing down her ice blue gown. Emma throws her a generous smile that she would normally never give, but thinking of her family has softened her tonight and she remembers when she was sixteen. She had been smuggled out of the castle at the age of ten just after her parents had been massacred and had been placed with an old woman who lived on the edge of the kingdom in a tiny village. She was lucky that she was so young, otherwise Regina would have known whom to search for. In fact Emma’s existence had been nothing much more than a rumour at the time, thanks to their tradition of keeping royal children hidden until their twelfth birthday when they are then announced and presented to the kingdom. Emma as a child had found this practice outdated and tedious and was constantly trying to escape her tutors and venture outside the castle. She thinks now how lucky she was, and how this practice had saved her life and allowed her to choose the path she is now on.</p><p>She had at first been frightened, to lose her parents so young. She loved the old woman who cared for her, and called her Granny, but as long as she stayed there she had no future except as a nobody, a useless farm girl who would live and die forgotten by the world. She wanted more than that. She grew up nursing a fierce hate for the person who had destroyed her world so thoroughly, and by the age of sixteen she’d had enough and fled one night, leaving no sign of why she had left suddenly, or where she was intending to go.</p><p>Her disappearance from the village was not so unusual. Many people fled the White Kingdom after the fall of the King and Queen. Regina was unknown and feared by all who she came into contact with. Most knew only that she was a sorceress, and that was bad enough. The fact that she had dismantled their culture did not help. So people fled their homes, leaving their bad memories behind and went to Stiltskin for the most part, or even as far as Misthaven, Queen Cora’s realm. Emma did not understand those who fled to Queen Cora. She was Regina’s mother and was responsible for raising the monster they were fleeing from. Misthaven had once been Regina’s home.</p><p>Emma had known that if she were to return it would have to be as someone else entirely. If she were to stand any chance of getting close to Regina she must have a different past with different origins. She fled to the heart of Stiltskin, and used her charm and beauty to gain work at an inn. To begin with she did nothing more than wait tables. She treated the clientele well, and they treated her well in return. The pay was minimal, barely covering her board. So when one day a kindly merchant signalled to her to follow him to his room, she accepted. Many of the other girls who worked in the inn had told her how lucrative this was and she saw it with her own eyes as they were the girls who had new dresses, were healthier, and thus received better tips when waitressing.</p><p>For Emma it was lucrative for more than just the money she was paid. She made a point of holding her clients in her arms for some time afterwards, encouraging them to talk to her, to teach her anything they knew. As a child she had learned to read and write and knew she had an intelligence far greater than most she came into contact with, but it wasn’t their intelligence she wanted a piece of, it was their knowledge of the world outside, of politics, trading, and culture. She must become as familiar with the Stiltskin culture as she could if she were to ever pass herself off as one.</p><p>One day, a soldier who was a regular client of hers and a kind man asked her if she would stay with him. If she would be his and only his from that day onwards. This wasn’t the first man who had asked her to stay with him but he was the last. Emma had found herself lying in his arms, gazing into his deep blue eyes and wondering what a life with him might be like.</p><p>She left the very next day.</p><p>It wasn’t that she didn’t want to stay, it was that she did. She had become too comfortable. So she left Stiltskin altogether, having learned all she could from it. By this stage her accent was flawless, and she had perfected her back story. She did not change her first name as it was common in both kingdoms, but one day as she sat by the nearest lake and gazed out on the water she found her last name.</p><p>When she arrived back in her home country she came as Emma Swan, a Stiltskinian daughter of a merchant who had fallen from grace and left her to seek her own fortune.</p><p>It was a good cover, and accounted for her obvious education as well as her more refined looks. It was also a common story, which happened with frequency especially in Stiltskin. King Rumple cared little for his people and there was no assistance provided if a family fell behind in their payments.</p><p>When Regina conquered the White Kingdom and massacred its rulers she renamed the land and cursed the entire continent to never speak its name or mention its previous rulers. Thusly when Emma crossed back into her homeland she crossed not into the White Kingdom but into the Kingdom of Dánjal.</p><p>She found a reputable tavern near the border and with the reference from her previous employer she was quickly hired as a server. This tavern was far more reputable than the previous but even so it was less than a day before she was propositioned by a client. She was seating an elderly gentleman and his guests at what appeared to be a meeting of some importance, and as she was leaving he slipped a note into her hand containing the address of his lodgings for the night. Emma had frowned in dismay and approached the tavern owner. Marco had looked at the note and promptly told her that it was a regular occurrence but not one she was required to participate in. If she was not interested then she need only to ignore any advances and soon word would get round that she was not for sale.</p><p>Emma had thanked him and followed his advice. As far as she was concerned she would never be for sale again. In fact she had no intention of ever laying with a man again.</p><p>She had fully grown into herself now, and was a slender petite woman with a stunning mane of slightly curly long blonde hair. Her skin was fair with a small smattering of freckles across her nose, and piercing green eyes. She knew she was striking, and she used her looks to her advantage. Though she had made it plain that she would not engage in anything untoward, she was not above some harmless flirting and she quickly became a favourite in the tavern, requested often by their regulars. She was soon promoted to front of house staff, a position rarely given to a woman.</p><p>She remained there for over a year, using the time to her advantage to learn as much as possible about Queen Regina and how her Serai operated. She picked up small amounts each day from the smatterings of conversations she heard and those who engaged herself in mindless chatter. No one ever guessed she was from the original White Kingdom. Those citizens who chose to stay once it became Dánjal were cursed into silence, and even if they could have spoken freely they would not have. Many remarked on her Stiltskinian accent and joked with her about stealing her away from that country for good.</p><p>Emma had joked and laughed with them while filing that information away for future use. It was true indeed that Stiltskin citizens were not allowed to leave the country indefinitely, which was a minor flaw in her plan. There weren’t any Stilskinians in Regina’s Serai. If successful she would be the first. Which only made her more determined to succeed.</p><p>She was nineteen years old when her chance came. A middle aged merchant named Sidney Glass who had often frequented the tavern she worked in let slip during a conversation that he was part of Regina’s court. Responsible for maintaining her fleet of ‘Tribute ships’, he was in this lower part of Dánjal searching for likely candidates. Boasting loudly was always how Sidney behaved and it was easy for Emma to overhear as he chatted to another merchant who was also a frequent visitor. Sidney claimed he was responsible for the most beautiful and educated women in the Serai and how his ships always brought successful candidates. Emma had internally rolled her eyes. Sidney made her skin crawl, but she knew his pride would be a weak point.</p><p>When his companion had finished his meal and left for the day, Sidney had remained behind. Emma had taken the opportunity and gone to check to see if there was anything else he needed.</p><p>He’d smiled silkily at her. “You’re very beautiful, Miss Swan.”</p><p>She’d leant forward slightly to give him a better view. “Thank you, Mr Glass. As far as I can tell you’re the best judge of beauty in these parts.”</p><p>He’d laughed a big booming laugh. “I see my reputation has reached you. It is true you’d be a likely candidate given your looks and breeding, however you are a Stiltskinian which could present a problem. I’m not sure Queen Regina would appreciate the trouble it might bring her.” He frowned and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Though you are her type.”</p><p>Emma had swallowed back her disgust. “Is that so?”</p><p>“Indeed.” He looked her over critically. “You aren’t interested I suppose?”</p><p>“In the Serai?” Emma feigned surprise. “I hadn’t thought about it.”</p><p>Sidney looked at her again, more carefully and precisely this time. “You should consider it.” he said seriously. “You are quite the prize, Miss Swan.” He held out a card to her. “This is where I am currently staying. I will be there for only one more day. Come and see me.”</p><p>And just like that Emma had her golden opportunity. She met Sidney the following night and he had smuggled her onto the Tribute ship. No one knew of her departure until it was too late. She was on her way to the Serai. Sidney had received a rap on the knuckles from the captain when he learned that he carried a tribute from Stiltskin and for a few nights Emma was concerned that she would be sent back, but word soon came from Regina that she was interested in meeting this woman and that she would happily deal with any fallout. So the atmosphere on the ship calmed somewhat after this and Emma was left to think about how she would present herself once arriving.</p><p>Most people thought King Rumple would demand her return, or at least barter for her as he was ridiculously protective of his citizens. But in the end nothing happened at all. Everyone from both kingdoms knew there was a Stiltskinian in Regina’s Serai, and while she was the subject of much gossip and speculation nothing further came from it. Emma had arrived and been accepted into the Serai, and she knew that finally she could get her revenge. Or at least that’s what she had thought at the time.</p><p>She is interrupted from her musings by one of her least favourite people. George Jamison, another of Regina’s so called advisors, has always irritated Emma, his sliminess and smug attitude dripping off him in waves. Even now when he is attempting to win Emma’s favour he still contrives to make her feel worthless.</p><p>“I understand Regina wishes for a new ambassador to Arendelle?” he asks, his hand brushing her elbow as he leans in.</p><p>It is no secret that Emma is the one to talk to if you wish to influence Queen Regina. Moreso than Robin, or Graham or any other member of the Serai Emma is known to be the negotiator, intelligent, the influencer. It is for this reason that she constantly finds herself surrounded at these events by those who wish to use that influence for their own benefit.</p><p>She moves just out of his grasp and turns to face him fully. “It always interests me George how you find these things out before the rest of the court.” She raises one eyebrow in question.</p><p>“I think you’ll find that this is a poorly kept secret Miss Swan. I am sure that Regina must have discussed it with you already?” He takes a sip of his wine, then swirls it pretentiously.</p><p>Emma’s gaze hardens. “You wish to be appointed, I take it?”</p><p>“If it is her Majesty’s wish.”</p><p>“And you would like me to influence her wish,” she says quietly. It isn’t a question.</p><p>“Though I cannot understand it, you hold great sway over her. I had hoped that you would help her come to the correct decision in this matter, and not one that would, let’s say, cause her a headache in the future.” He smirked as he took another sip of his wine, and Emma just managed to refrain from taking the glass and throwing it into his face.</p><p>Regina would eat him alive if he tried anything. The one thing she can’t stand about George above all else is his absolute arrogance towards Regina when he isn’t in the same room as her. In truth he would wet himself in fright if he ever brought on her wrath.</p><p>She says none of this though, instead she just nods to him. “We shall see how her favour falls then.” With that, she moves on towards the next person who wishes to waste her time. She catches Robin’s eye across the room and he rolls his eyes and grins at her. She may hate the man, but that is mostly due to their constant competition. He reminds her of Neal. That is reason enough to both love and hate him with equal measure. At the end of the day though, he isn’t good enough for Regina.</p><p>She smiles back at Robin, then turns and is faced with Sidney. She sighs internally but makes no move to turn away. Sidney is harmless enough, despite being foolishly in love with Regina.</p><p>“Mr Glass, how good to see you.” Despite how she feels about him her gratitude for bringing her here will always earn him special favours with her. Unless it’s to do with his unrequited love.</p><p>“Emma, lovely to see you as always.”</p><p>“Indeed,” she says wryly. He is the only one other than Regina to call her by her first name. Unless of course Regina were in the room, then he would revert back to Miss Swan. She wonders if it makes him feel special, daring to use her name. Or perhaps it is because he brought her here. His stock with Regina went up dramatically thanks to that, and he prides himself on being responsible for her success. If he only knew it was Emma’s plan all along.</p><p>“Her Majesty has yet to appear I see.” He turns hopefully towards the door Regina will come through.</p><p>Emma rolls her eyes and shudders slightly in disgust. She has mentioned his undying love to Regina multiple times but while Regina admits she finds him vile, he is also useful apparently. So she won’t send him away. She does not think him a threat, which Emma admits he isn’t politically, but personally? Who knows what lengths he will go to?</p><p>She frowns as the unsettling feeling of worrying about Regina’s welfare washes over her. She tells herself that it is only because she wants to kill Regina herself. A thought crosses her mind suddenly. “Sidney?”</p><p>“Hmmm?” he asks absently, still looking at the door.</p><p>“You know the position of Ambassador to Arendelle is currently vacant.”</p><p>That gets his attention, “I had heard that yes. Surely you aren’t suggesting?”</p><p>Oh she is. It is a big promotion for him, he can hardly say no. And if it means getting him out of Regina’s orbit and also shutting down George’s ambitions… well. It’s perfect.</p><p>She smiles at him and batts her eyes slightly. “Your name has been mentioned as a possibility.”</p><p>“Regina’s considering me for the position?” he asks, eyes alight.</p><p>“Your name has been brought up.” Emma clarifies carefully. It isn’t really a lie, she just brought his name up now. “Is it something you would consider?”</p><p>“Well now, I’m not sure.” He rubs his beard thoughtfully. “A position like that…”</p><p>“Only comes around once in a lifetime,” she finishes for him. “For what it’s worth I think you’d be perfect for it. Our Queen cannot just send anyone to another land. It must be someone she trusts implicitly, someone she relies upon.”</p><p>Sidney frowns, “It’s so far away though.”</p><p>“It isn’t so far,” Emma says, somewhat lamely. “The distance is nothing compared to the great honour of serving our Queen.”</p><p>Sidney opens his mouth to reply when the room falls silent. Regina has arrived.</p><p>Emma’s breath leaves her as she looks at Regina. It always has, ever since the very first time. Regina can always tell, and even now her eyes seek out Emma’s as if she can hear her heart race and her breath quicken. Regina’s eyes sparkle as she gives Emma a once over. She is in a very good mood.</p><p>Emma smirks back at her then once Regina looks away she does her own once over. Regina is stunning, as always. Dressed to the nines in a long flowing evening gown, she screams elegance. The gown is royal blue velvet, with silver filigree details and a low back, so low it would have been considered indecent on anyone else. Regina likes to stretch boundaries. Her hair is piled high on her head, twisted into an elegant array or curls and twists. Flowing diamonds dangle from her earlobes.</p><p>Emma forgets Sidney immediately as she moves to one side of the room. While she would like to go to Regina instantly protocol states that she must wait for Regina to come to her, if she is lucky. She contents herself with watching Regina work the room, moving from one person to the next. She grimaces at the sight of George simpering, and smirks again when Regina wrinkles her nose slightly when he takes her hand and kisses it.</p><p>It bothers Emma that Regina has such an effect on her even after a decade. She often wonders if it is Regina’s magic that makes her feel this way, placed on her the moment she was accepted to the Serai. She’d asked her about it once, after an afternoon of lovemaking during that quiet space and time reserved for the most intimate conversations.</p><p>“Is it your magic that makes me feel this way?” Emma had asked, twirling a strand of Regina’s hair between her fingers.</p><p>“What way, darling?” Regina whispered.</p><p>“You understand what I mean. I know you sense it in me every time I’m with you. Is it your magic that does it?”</p><p>Regina sat up slightly, pulling her hair out of Emma’s grasp. “No, Emma. It is not my doing, not in any real way, and I think you know that, don’t you?”</p><p>Emma had nodded, the sick sting of betrayal at war with the warm thud of her heart. She did know.</p><p>“Emma... what do you feel when you’re with me?” Regina had purred, bending to kiss at her collarbone.</p><p>“Too much.” Emma lay back and ran her hands over Regina’s naked back, circling around to stroke her breasts lightly and thumb a nipple. “I feel too much.”</p><p>Regina pulled back and gazed at her with such clear understanding it had frightened her. Instead of continuing the conversation Emma had chosen instead to pull Regina close and continue their lovemaking.</p><p>She shakes her head slightly at the memory. “What is this place doing to me?” she murmurs softly.</p><p>“Should I be concerned by that question?” Regina replies from behind her.</p><p>Emma turns to face her with a smile, “My Queen.”</p><p>Regina smiles slightly, “Miss Swan. What has caused such a pensive look upon your usually lovely features?”</p><p>Emma nods towards Abigail, who is now laughing at something George is saying. “Do you think I have lost something these last ten years?”</p><p>“And what would that be?” Regina asks playfully.</p><p>Emma lifts her shoulders slightly. “My innocence?”</p><p>Regina looks from Abigail back to Emma. “I’m not sure you ever had that level of innocence, Emma. Your intelligence would never have allowed it.”</p><p>Emma loves that Regina admires her intelligence above all else. It makes her position and value far more meaningful. “Speaking of intelligence, the usual political finagling has begun early tonight.”</p><p> “Is that so?” Regina glances over at George for a moment. “The position in Arendelle?” she guesses.</p><p>“Naturally. Interest has been… expressed.” Emma notes with a grimace.</p><p>“George would probably be a good choice, and I confess I would not mind having him out of the kingdom for a while.”</p><p>“You cannot trust him, my Queen.”</p><p>Regina turns to face her, eyebrows raised. “Of course not. Did you have another suggestion? Someone more trustworthy perhaps?”</p><p>“I had a conversation with Sidney.”</p><p>Regina lets out a small laugh. “Of course you did. Do tell me what he said when you suggested it.”</p><p>“Would he be such a bad choice?” Emma asks defiantly. “He is at least trustworthy. He will not turn on you.”</p><p>“Until he finds another object worthier of his affections. Tell me Emma, what do you think? Would he be more suitable?”</p><p>“What do I think?” Emma asks playfully, “Surely my opinion is not needed, not as the mere plaything and occasional pleaser of the Queen. I don’t believe my influence stretches that far.”</p><p>Regina nods thoughtfully. “That is certainly an intelligent observation. I expected nothing less. Perhaps I should consult Robin instead.”</p><p>Emma narrows her eyes. Regina certainly knows how to push her buttons. “If you get an intelligent observation out of Robin I will eat my hat, and his too… and,” she looks at Regina thoughtfully. “Your favourite dress, the one with feathers all down the back.”</p><p>“Goodness me Emma, you expect me to believe you’d eat all that? That is quite the leap.” Regina smirks.</p><p>“So is an intelligent observation from Robin.” Emma observes, and Regina laughs aloud.</p><p>The laugh echoes across the room, and a few heads turn in their direction. It will have been noted by the entire court that once again Emma has impressed and delighted the Queen. Her position will only solidify further from this. Across the room, Emma sees Graham looking at them with a slight frown on his face.</p><p>Regina’s amusement subsides and she leans in closer to Emma and lowers her voice. “I saw something on my ride this morning.”</p><p>Immediately Emma realises this is actually what Regina wants to talk with her about. This is why she has sought her out. “My Queen?”</p><p>“It was very unusual. Three ravens, in a line sitting atop a rock. They were watching me, as if waiting. I dismounted and approached them. Still they did not fly away. It was unsettling.”</p><p>Emma froze. “Did they fly away?”</p><p>“Eventually.”</p><p> “All at once, or one at a time?” Emma asks.</p><p>“I don’t remember. Do you think that matters?”</p><p>“I’m not sure,” she murmurs, looking away. This is a lie, she knows it does matter, but only someone from the White kingdom would know why. “Did anyone else see them?”</p><p>Regina shakes her head. “No, I had ridden far ahead of the guards. By the time they had caught up the birds were gone.”</p><p>“How puzzling.” Emma glances around the room. “Do you think it’s an omen?” She knows that it is, but she must be careful… so careful. She cannot reveal too much.</p><p>“These things often are.” Regina looks at Emma closely.</p><p>Emma knows she has probably said too much, she should not have asked such specific questions. Thankfully, Regina does not comment, though Emma knows she has filed the information away for future reference. “Are you going to look into it further? Perhaps ask if others have seen this phenomena before?” If she asks she will find answers. But it may be better that she doesn’t.</p><p>Regina shakes her head. “My experience tells me I may not like what I find… Besides these things can often be interpreted in a variety of ways.”</p><p>This is definitely true. But Emma does not comment, instead she nods her head slowly.</p><p>“I have not told anyone but you.” Regina adds unexpectedly.</p><p>This throws Emma off completely. Her mind spins and she has to take some time to digest this. She wishes she were alone, but she does not have that luxury right now. “I’m surprised you did not use magic on the birds, perhaps they were not really ravens at all.”</p><p>“I did consider it, however any spell I may have cast could have killed them,” Regina says softly.</p><p>“That’s never stopped you before,” Emma murmurs, then immediately realises she has gone too far. In her distraction she has behaved foolishly.</p><p>Regina turns to face her. She is silent for some time and Emma finds that nothing else matters in that moment other than the disappointment she sees in Regina’s deep brown eyes. “I am assuming that statement was not intended in the manner it sounded.”</p><p>Emma offers her a soft smile. “Indeed it wasn’t. I apologise.”</p><p>“Need I remind you that you are not in a position to critique me or offer me your opinion on any aspect of either my rule or my life? I could take you right here and now in front of everyone to remind you of that if need be. You are lucky I hold such affection for you.”</p><p>“Indeed I am,” Emma says carefully, choosing to make light of the situation and trying to not make it obvious the effect those words have had on her. She is fully aware that much of the court is watching them and making their own conclusions.</p><p>Regina’s lips curl up slightly. “Perhaps my affections would be put to better use elsewhere? Robin perhaps? Or Graham? Or even that charming young Ruby?”</p><p>Emma can’t help but laugh at that. “Oh but you know she is skilled at affections, perhaps the most skilled to ever grace the Serai.”</p><p>Regina laughs with her,” I have indeed heard that.” With that she brushes Emma’s arm slightly and moves away.</p><p>Emma knows she is forgiven for her discretion, but she is appalled with herself nonetheless. She may offer Regina intelligent conversation and wit, but she is aware that she can be judgemental and caustic on occasion and she cannot allow herself to fall out of favour. She wonders for a moment if it is so important to her because of her revenge or because she would be devastated to lose Regina’s company. She imagines her world without the Queen’s favour and closes her eyes in distress. It would not be a life worth living. What is worse is if she truly fell out of favour she would be at risk of her true identity being discovered. The last thing she wants is to be investigated.</p><p>Thankfully she is distracted by the arrival of the court’s honoured guest, Jefferson Hatter, the reason why they are gathered together this evening.</p><p>Jefferson is a renowned artist from Misthaven. It is the first time for several years that the court is receiving a visitor from Queen Cora’s kingdom. Groomed by her mother from a young age to take over and rule upon her death, Regina’s choice to rule the White kingdom instead has caused some tension. The two countries remain aligned, but the relationship between mother and daughter is strained.</p><p>Jefferson is ushered into the room escorted by six of Regina’s guards. He is a scatty looking sort of man with bright clothing and long scruffy hair hidden under an outrageous hat. Behind him comes another man, serious and tall who is introduced to the court as Master Whale. He is apparently Jefferson’s apprentice and his sole job seems to be to carry Jefferson’s works of art. He nods to the court as he is introduced, gently setting down an armful of paintings.</p><p>Regina is now seated on her throne at the front of the room. She bows her head slightly when Jefferson steps forward and allows him to kiss her hand. “Jefferson it is very good to see you,” she smiles broadly. “There is nothing like your talent in this country, I have missed the beauty of your paintings.”</p><p>“My thanks Queen Regina,” he says, bowing deeply. “Queen Cora sends her regards and well wishes.”</p><p>“My mother is well then?” Regina asks stiffly, as if she hopes the answer is no.</p><p>“Yes indeed she is. She misses you of course, however she is healthy, and the realm is thriving as usual.”</p><p>Regina forces a smile. “I am pleased to hear so. I see you have brought some of your artwork?”</p><p>Jefferson nods, “Indeed I have brought a selection of my latest works. If I may?”</p><p> “Of course.” Regina says.</p><p>Jefferson nods to Whale who bends down to the wooden boxes of paintings he placed on the floor earlier. Emma cannot say why but she feels an uneasiness spread throughout her body as she looks down at Whale who is bent over the box in the process of sliding a painting out. She looks back to Regina with a frown, remembering the ravens she saw that morning. Still frowning she looks back to Jefferson and gasps, his face holding an expression of such loathing that it makes Emma take a step backward. Then the expression is gone and his face is once again set in a simpering smile.</p><p>Emma looks back to where Whale is fidgeting with the painting, and to her horror sees him pull a dart out from the frame. As he straightens she cries out, “Regina! Watch out!” and rushing forward she pushes towards Regina trying desperately to get to her but only succeeds in pushing another in front of her. George. He falls in front of her and turning to face Emma he snarls, then gasps as he too sees the dart fly.</p><p>Regina holds up a hand and the dart stops, mere inches from her face. She closes her fist and the dart falls to the floor.</p><p>Emma sinks to her knees in relief, as George scrambles out of the way and the guards swarm around Whale, lifting him bodily off the floor and out of the room.</p><p>Two more guards have seized Jefferson who once again is looking at Regina with naked hatred. He is brought to stand in front of her, hands roughly tied in front of him.</p><p>“By the expression on your face I take it you were part of this assassination attempt?” she hisses.</p><p>Jefferson says nothing.</p><p>Regina lifts a finger and his head snaps back as if he’s been struck. “If you answer me, you will die quickly. If not… you have no idea how long and painful I can make it. And eventually, I assure you, you will tell me everything.”</p><p>Jefferson’s shoulders sag, and he slums between the guards. “You can guess can’t you?”</p><p>“Of course I can, however I’d like you to confirm my suspicions. And what I don’t know is why.” Regina looks at him seriously. “You realise why I must remain here, why I do what I do?”</p><p>“Yes, but that comes with a price Regina. You should know that Cora would never let you defy her in such a way.” Jefferson snarls.</p><p>“But why now? Why leave me be all those years and try to destroy me now?” Regina frowns.</p><p>“She believed you would return one day. She has kept the throne for you all this time, but she has grown tired, and you have grown strong. You are now too big a threat to her. There’s always a price.”</p><p>Regina nods, and turns away from him for a moment. Emma is surprised to see that she is not angry, only sad. So sad. She imagines what it might be like for her own mother to attempt to assassinate her, and her heart clenches.</p><p>“There is always a price,” Regina says softly. “A price for everything. Even for living. I had not expected to pay it in my own family.”</p><p>“Cora pays it too.” Jefferson says, “And Henry… and Leopold.”</p><p>Emma realises suddenly that she also has paid, and her parents and her country. With their lives, and their name… their identity gone forever.</p><p>“You have no idea how happy I was that you had come here to show off your artworks,” Regina says, pausing for a moment. She then steps forward and plunges her heart into Jefferson’s chest, ripping out his heart and crushing it.</p><p>Then she turns and leaves the courtroom, her shoulders shaking slightly.</p><p>Emma is still on her knees, and she closes her eyes as the guards gather Jefferson’s body and remove it from the courtroom.</p><p>“Shall I take you back to the Serai?” a soft voice whispers from behind her.</p><p>“Oh August… yes, please.”  </p><p>August escorts her back to her room, ignoring all the mutterings of the other members of the Serai who weren’t there. She has no idea what happened to Robin and Graham and she does not have the strength to care.</p><p>August wraps a warm robe around her and gives her a hot drink of cider; she cannot bring herself to speak and finds she is still shaking.  He sits her before the fire, taking her hands in his and rubs them gently.</p><p>Emma realises suddenly what she has done. She saved Regina’s life. She could have just waited and said nothing, watched as that dart flew through the air and into her chest. No doubt the dart was poisoned. If she had only waited a few moments her revenge would be complete. Why did she do it? Her parent’s faces swim through her mind, and the guilt she feels for betraying them is crushing. What was it all for if not for that? She bursts into tears; long wracking sobs that cause violent shudders to run through her body. August wraps his arms around her holding her tightly until her sobs subside.</p><p>Eventually she pulls herself together. She knows that Regina will call for her and she must be ready when she does. Together they take the time to prepare her fully, scrubbing every inch of her body and washing her hair. August dries it carefully by the fire, and styles it into long loose curls that fall perfectly over her shoulders. Emma sits still and thinks of how she will hold Regina, how they will comfort each other after such a horrible event. She knows now that she loves her fully and completely, and the guilt she feels for that love is fading fast into the background.</p><p>Then August receives word that Regina has sent for Robin.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Part Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The fury builds inside her like an inferno, an overwhelming tower of rage that threatens to bubble up and out of her spilling forth and destroying anyone in its path. Had Regina been in front of her then she would tear through her like a jaguar taking apart its enemy. She would tear her limb from limb and not think twice about it.</p><p>August takes an involuntary step back from her and for the first time she sees fear in his eyes, something she never expected to bring forth in him. It makes no difference to her now.</p><p>She gave up everything for this? Her family name, their honour? Her kingdom? For a woman who thinks so little of her she is cast aside like a common whore? She saved her life tonight and the thanks she receives is rejection and betrayal. She feels like a fool, such a fool to fall in love with a woman who will never love her back, who simply is not capable of loving, who is not even able to consider another’s feelings in addition to her own. Someone so selfish she chooses another person; a man no less, to offer her comfort after a terrible ordeal. Where is Emma’s comfort? Does she deserve so little? For the first time since she came here she feels worthless, like her only job is to spread her legs and give comfort for a price.</p><p>And the price is far too low.</p><p>She turns her back on August and shakily begins to remove her dress, wiping her makeup off and changing into her nightgown. She leaves her hair alone; Regina is not the only one who loved her blonde curls and Emma needs the comfort of that memory.</p><p>August backs out of the room quietly and closes the door. It is only then that she allows her tears to fall.</p><p>Objectively, once her anger subsides to a slow simmer, she can understand why Regina made the choice she did. Robin gives her comfort, he always has. That is what he provides for her. Emma knows this, she knows that her relationship with Regina is different, their relationship is a give and take, a challenge. Regina could take comfort from Robin and give nothing in return. But that understanding does not make much of a difference, she still feels betrayed. She is still alone tonight, with no one to give her the comfort she needs.</p><p>She curls up into a ball on her side and squeezes her eyes shut, but sleep will not come. The memories she has been trying to keep at bay float to the forefront of her mind, and she lets them come.</p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>Emma was very young when Regina went to war with their kingdom. Too young to understand the reasons for war, and too young to be told anything by her elders. She was woken from her bed early one morning and bundled up into her coat. Her nurse Johana smuggled her quietly out of the castle, and all Emma really remembers was smoke, fire and screaming. They travelled on horseback to the far edge of the Kingdom where Johana left her in the care of Granny. It was sometime later that Granny told her what had happened and how.</p><p>Queen Cora had had her eyes on the White Kingdom for a long time. Rumour had it she held a grudge against King Leopold, or was it Queen Ava? It was said that Cora sent Regina to the White Kingdom as ambassador in the hope of gaining critical information. Regina had initially got along very well with Snow, and apparently even attended her wedding. But then things had turned sour. Regina refused to spy for her mother, which caused a rift between the two realms and Queen Cora sent Regina’s long-time friend Daniel to stay with her in the White Kingdom. It was commonly assumed that Daniel was to take Regina’s place as spy. Instead the two fell in love; and were happy for a time. But Cora continued to put great pressure on Regina until one day she finally cracked and confessed the truth to Snow in the hope that she would help. Snow assured her that she trusted Regina and would keep their secrets. Only she did not. She wrote to Cora insisting that she remove her spies from the White Kingdom immediately.</p><p>Cora did as Snow asked in regard to Daniel. She sent an assassin. Regina she left alone, possibly because she knew the revenge Regina would seek and how damaging it would be to the White Kingdom. Regina proved her right and killed Leopold that night after finding Daniel’s mutilated body, followed by Snow and her husband. Emma barely escaped, though she did not know it at the time. She was saved only because Regina did not know she existed.</p><p>Granny had taken in more refugees than just Emma. There were also two boys, both considerably older than herself. Killian was a rogue, who tried to be suave and sexy but mostly just made Emma smile, which was hard in those days. His best friend was Neal, who was the oldest of the three of them. Neal was a pickpocket, or so he claimed, and had known Granny all his life. He had no parents that he was aware of. Granny had found him abandoned at the age of five, left to beg for scraps outside the nearest tavern. Killian was an orphan, having lost both parents in an accident a few years earlier. He and Neal had been best friends since they were children, so Granny had naturally taken him in when he became orphaned.</p><p>The boys had been sceptical at first of the young blonde haired child who had been brought to Granny in the middle of the night. They had both been asleep when she arrived, and had woken up to find her at the breakfast table the next day. Neal had been standoffish at first, he was fourteen years old and had no desire to watch over a ten year old, and a girl no less. Killian on the other hand was only twelve, and had taken a shine to Emma straight away, declaring that he would marry her when she turned sixteen. Emma had responded by punching him in the nose and the three of them had been fast friends from then on.</p><p>Emma was under strict instructions to reveal her true identity to no one, but one day the three of them struck up a conversation about the Kingdom, and its new ruler. Word had come that morning that the royal family had been slaughtered and the new ruler, Queen Regina, would be making some changes.</p><p>This was the first time Emma had heard the fate of her family, though inside she had known they were dead as soon as she was smuggled out of the castle. She had already cried tears for them and closed her heart in order to protect herself. She asked the boys what they thought of this development and was surprised by their answer.</p><p>“I think it’s awful.” Neal had declared vehemently. “She should never have been allowed to take the throne. It’s disgraceful.”</p><p>“I heard she has magic.” Killian added. “That’s probably how she did it. They were such good rulers; I was proud to live here. I doubt that will last.” </p><p>Emma had not realised that the lives of those who lived on the outskirts of the kingdom would have been influenced such by their rulers. But it turned out that they could be. For both good and bad.</p><p>They soon discovered that they could no longer remember the name of their kingdom, and could not speak of their past rulers at all. When they tried to remember all they could come up with was Dánjal, which they knew was not correct. It was only Emma who found she could still remember. Alone in her room at night she sounded out their names one by one, over and over. White, Leopold, Snow, David. Father and Mother. The White Kingdom.</p><p>Changes were made over time and they were drastic. The White Kingdom was known for its grand tall towers. Made of white brick and marble they were a symbol of the kingdom and its rulers. One by one they were torn down, and different buildings replaced them. These buildings were dark; black marble, stone and dark wood, and were structurally so different from their predecessors that it became clear the new Queen was intent on removing any reminder of the old kingdom that she could find. </p><p>It was at this point that life began to get hard, so hard that it broke the three of them completely.</p><p>Years had passed. Neal now at age eighteen was providing for their tiny makeshift family. Killian followed him everywhere and hung onto every word. He often worked the same jobs as Neal and brought home equal pay, however small. Emma did her best to keep the house clean and nice, and to have good food waiting on the table each night for them. She also spent her days furthering her education as much as she could, reading books whenever she could get a hold of them. She had ceased to be a small child and was slowly becoming a woman, awkward and gangly in some places but without a doubt blossoming into a beautiful young lady.</p><p>As the towers were torn down and rebuilt there was an influx of the Queen’s knights in their small town. These knights took great pleasure in taunting the townsfolk in any way possible. They would corner Neal and Killian any time they could and try to force them to say the names of their prior rulers. They would call them names over and over again, then laugh when either boy tried to defend themselves.</p><p>In addition to this, the only work that was available was in the destruction and rebuilding of the towers and other architecture. If a building was white, or even had any white stone or brick it must be destroyed and rebuilt as per the Queen’s wishes. So not only did they have to endure taunts on a daily basis, they were also tasked with destroying their beloved buildings and erecting new ones in their place.</p><p>It was only a month after this had begun that Killian abruptly announced one day that he was leaving.</p><p>“I can’t take it anymore. This isn’t living. These people, they’ve taken everything from us. Everything! I know we said we wouldn’t leave, we wouldn’t let it beat us but it’s time to admit that it has. What more can we do? Why stay here? There is nothing left. It doesn’t even look like our home anymore.”</p><p>Emma and Neal tried their best to dissuade him but there wasn’t much they could say. They managed to convince him to stay that night, in the hope that Granny would be back from her trip to the next town and would be able to talk to him, or at least say goodbye. The next morning when Emma woke up she found that Neal had already left for the day, and was nowhere to be seen. Granny had still not returned and so it was left to Emma to say farewell to Killian and see him on his way. She hugged him tightly, holding him for what felt like ages.</p><p>“You take care now Killian. Don’t ever come back here.” she whispered quietly. “You start a new life somewhere else. Anywhere.”</p><p>“You sure you don’t want to come with me, Swan?” he whispered back. “We’d be good together you and I.”</p><p>She pulled back and looked at him for a moment, still holding onto his shoulders. “I can’t Killian. I’m not ready.”</p><p>He smiled at her, a sad smile. “I know, Swan. Take care of yourself okay?”</p><p>“I will.” She let a tear fall down her cheek, and he put out a thumb and wiped it away.</p><p>“Take care of him too alright?” Killian said sadly, “And tell him… tell him I understand.” With that he turned and left. Emma watched after him for a long time, wrapping her shawl tightly around herself. Summer had yet to truly begin and the mornings were still cold. Only when she started to shiver did she turn and go back inside.</p><p>Neal returned later that night. He stumbled through the door long after Emma had finished dinner. He was sporting a black eye and had a swollen jaw.</p><p>“Are you okay?” Emma asked softly. “You want to talk about it?”</p><p>Neal shook his head. “It’s nothing.”</p><p>It wasn’t nothing, but Emma knew nothing she said would make it any better. Instead she held out her arms and he rushed into them. As she held him, she could feel his shoulders shake, harder and harder, and his tears finally ran and soaked the front of her dress. She murmured softly to him, making shushing noises as she rubbed small circles into his back. “It’s okay, I’m here.”</p><p>He finally stilled and took a deep breath. “I should have said goodbye. You should have made me say goodbye.”</p><p>“He understood. He told me to tell you that he understood.” It was all she could say to him. “We still have each other.” She pulled back to look at him and ran a hand down his cheek. And then she leant forward and kissed him. And he kissed her back, then gently lifted her up and carried her into her bedroom.</p><p>That was the night she first lay with anyone.  Their affair lasted the whole of the summer, and they quickly became consumed by it. Granny never returned; she sent a letter with a boy from the next town saying she had decided to settle there where there was more work. She would send them money as often as she could, but neither Emma nor Neal missed her much. In many ways they had segregated themselves for the rest of the world, sheltered together and taking comfort only in each other.</p><p>Neal still spent most of each evening wandering the streets, breaking the curfew Queen Regina had placed on the kingdom in order to keep the subjects subdued and controlled. He often came home bruised or bleeding, with a split lip or a cut across an eye. Occasionally it was worse, and he bore the marks of a whip. Emma would patch him up as best she could before taking him to bed. They both recognised that this was not an ideal life, but they never talked about the abuse he suffered. They took comfort in each other as best they could.</p><p>“What have we done?” Emma whispered one night, feeling guilty that she had fallen into a relationship with a man who was practically an adopted brother to her, that she had let Killian go, and that she was doing nothing to stop Queen Regina ravish her kingdom.</p><p>“What has been done to us?” he had replied. “We should not feel guilty for this.”</p><p>“I love you,” she whispered through her tears.</p><p>He did not respond, but he held her tighter and brushed away her tears with his lips.</p><p>They continued this way until the leaves started to turn and the weather grew colder. Summer had passed. One night Emma woke with a chill, Neal had not yet come home. She waited for him until dawn, and watched as he finally came down the road, hunched over against the cold, the hood of his cloak pulled tightly down over his head.</p><p>Something had changed. Emma’s heart thumped in her chest as she let him in and took his cloak from him hanging it on a hook by the door. “What is it?”</p><p>“I saw three ravens yesterday,” he said, and she knew. She knew what that meant. Everyone born into the White Kingdom knew what that meant.</p><p>“You were alone?” she asked.</p><p>Eventually he looked up at her. “I was.” He paused. “Two flew off together then the third followed. I’m sorry, Emma.”</p><p>Three ravens. He was alone, and two flew off with a third following. “You’re leaving?” she asked, and all of a sudden she knew he had been waiting for this. All this time he had only stayed for her sake, so she wouldn’t be alone. She could not keep him there; he had no chance at happiness or at any kind of life if he did not leave.  This place would be the death of him.</p><p>“You knew, didn’t you?” he asked.</p><p>She didn’t, not until this moment. For some reason she had thought they could continue on together. She thought their love would have been enough for him. "That you stayed just for my sake? I knew. It’s alright, Neal.” she lied, not able to cause him extra pain now, when it was all over anyway.</p><p>She helped him pack his things and baked some bread for him to take with him. She urged him to wait for the following day, but he shook his head. He had to leave that night.</p><p>Emma suspected that if he had stayed the night, he may have lost his resolve altogether. The ravens were a sign, but he could have chosen to ignore them. It was risky though, going against fate that way. Everyone knew that.</p><p>The fate of the ravens had been a part of their culture for a long time. It was a confusing warning, often misinterpreted unless you remembered it correctly. The number of ravens seen, coupled with the number of people who saw them and the order they flew off in all had different meanings. They foretold almost anything, from a change coming, to a difficult decision to be made, to a new birth or death. Neal had been alone, and two ravens had flown together and a third followed. This represented a journey. A new beginning. And one that had to be taken alone. It was almost the worst thing he could have seen. The only thing worse would have been that the three ravens flew away together, the death omen. At least she had been able to hold onto that. Neal may be leaving, but he would still live, she would not lose him as she had lost her parents.</p><p>She hugged him tightly that evening and kissed him gently goodbye. “I love you.”</p><p>“I love you too Emma, take care of yourself okay?”</p><p>With that he was gone, though she stood on the stoop for a long time watching after him, as if she could still see him, or that he would still come home to her. Eventually she turned and headed back inside. That was the longest night of her life. The next morning, she formed her own plans which would eventually change the course of her life forever. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>As Emma lies alone in bed now, she considers that she does not feel as sad or lonely now as she did that night. Regina may have rejected her, but she has the memories of her family, and of Neal to comfort her. As she lies awake she remembers them, and honours them saying their names over and over in her mind as she used to do when she was a child. Neal, Killian, Granny, Snow, David. Neal, Killian, Granny, Snow, David. She uses their names as a mantra to comfort herself and to remember why she is here in the Serai in the first place.</p><p>By the time the morning comes, her heart has hardened, and her plan for revenge has fully returned. She knows what she must do now.</p><p>She is up early, having barely slept and feeling deeply saddened. August brings her coffee, strong just as she likes it. He looks as though he has not slept either and she knows he must have spent the night lying awake worried for her. She is so lucky to have him, and feels a twinge of guilt over what may happen to him once she enacts her revenge.</p><p>“I must head outside the castle today,” she tells him softly, sipping her coffee. “On my own. It is important.”</p><p>He frowns at her. This is not a request she has ever made before.</p><p>“Please August?” she begs, as she turns to look at him.</p><p>He nods reluctantly. “Alright. But you cannot go alone. I must come with you, at least for part of the journey.”</p><p>“Thank you, my friend. You realise it isn’t that I don’t trust you, I do. With my life in fact… but I must be alone for this.” She turns away from him and gazes out her window.</p><p>“I understand. I’ll make the arrangements. Make yourself ready while I’m gone.”</p><p>Sometime later he returns for her, and she is washed and dressed in plain clothing.</p><p>“If you still wish to go we must go now,” he says. “It is fairly quiet, the castle subdued after yesterday’s events, and no one has seen the Queen this morning. It will not remain this way for much longer.”</p><p>Emma nods and hurriedly follows him out of her room. The floors of the Serai are quiet as they move through them, passing only Graham, who nods to her with a look of pity. She gazes stonily back at him until he drops his eyes and scurries past them.</p><p>When they reach the lower floor exit they encounter a small issue in that the guard on duty has changed and August must now cajole a new guard into letting them past.</p><p>“She has a meeting with Maleficent,” he says indignantly. Regina’s chief of staff is not one to cross. She is almost as dangerous as Regina herself.</p><p>“I don’t have anything down on her agenda today. You must be mistaken,” the guard says gruffly, checking the call sheet for the day.</p><p>“It hasn’t been updated,” August says. “After the chaos of last night are you surprised? I would not keep her waiting.”</p><p>The guard considers this for a moment then nods his head, “Alright, fine then. She can go. How long will she be out for?”</p><p>“Two hours.” August replies smoothly.</p><p>That doesn’t give Emma quite as much time as she would like, but she will have to make do. As they leave the Serai behind them she murmurs, “Please set up a meeting with Maleficent. I need to speak to her.”</p><p>“For this morning?” he asks, eyebrows raised.</p><p>“Yes, in about an hour’s time please. Tell her I will be waiting for her in the Queen’s garden.” The meeting solidifies her excuse, and she needs to speak with Maleficent anyway.</p><p>He nods to her, then as they approach the gardens he takes her by the shoulders. “Please be careful.”</p><p>“I will.”</p><p>“You remember the way out from here?”</p><p>“Yes.” She takes his hand and squeezes it once, then turns and hurries into the gardens. Before long she finds the hidden door that runs along the garden walls, and is on her way into the forest.</p><p>As she walks she finds her thoughts drifting to Regina. It was she who showed Emma the hidden door. One day a few years earlier she had taken Emma down to the gardens at dusk. She showed her the door and soon they had escaped into the forest, laughing and twirling in each other’s arms. Regina had told her that for one night she wanted to leave her crown behind her and just be a woman, a woman alone with her lover. They had run together until their legs burned and they were breathless, then swum in a lake and lain quietly in the grass watching the leaves rustle. They had made love under the stars and Emma had moaned with desire and felt as if the whole world consisted of just the two of them. In that moment they were equals, but then dawn came and they were forced to return to the castle.</p><p>Emma shakes the memory away as she heads deeper into the forest. Eventually she arrives at her destination. A pool hidden in a tiny clearing. While she has only walked for thirty minutes or so, she feels as though she is deep in the heart of the forest. Such is the magic of this place. She sits on the edge of the pool and leans over the water, calming her mind and focusing on the stillness of the pool. Eventually the water stirs and forms an image. She sees herself in the reflection, dressed in white and surrounded by water… no… she is under it, submerged, and her white dress streams out around her, her hair framing her face in a silken fan. Her hand is outstretched, and she sees a glint of gold shining in the depths of the water.</p><p>She knows what the vision means, can see it in her mind’s eye. It calms her and she accepts it, knows what she must do now. She stays for only a few moments more, then gathers herself and begins the journey back to the castle.</p><p>She arrives in the Queen’s gardens mere moments before Maleficent, and settles herself on a bench, smoothing her skirts down. She looks up when Maleficent enters the garden. Tall and regal, with flowing thick blonde hair it could be easy to mistake Maleficent for any other member of Regina’s court, except she has a face and a demeanour that says otherwise.   </p><p>Maleficent approaches her cautiously, and for good reason. “You wished to see me, Miss Swan?”</p><p>Emma looks her up and down. “I wish to speak about the lack of security at last night’s event. Were they even checked for weapons before they were admitted?”</p><p>Maleficent looks haggard, but still determined and composed. “I can assure you; the guards responsible for last night have been executed. I oversaw it myself early this morning.”</p><p>Emma is shocked to hear this, but she keeps her face composed. “Wasn’t Whale here just last year? Why was he not watched more closely then? Any why did our foreign spies not pick up the relationship between Jefferson and Queen Cora? Clearly there was more to it than anyone realised.”</p><p>Maleficent looks at her closely. “I knew. We all knew. We just did not realise how big a threat they were. No one expected Cora to react this way.”</p><p>Emma just looks at her.</p><p>“I have already offered my resignation to Regina. She would not accept it.” Maleficent adds.</p><p>“I’m sure.” Emma replies and looks away.</p><p>“You realise what you did last night threw the whole court into turmoil.” Maleficent says flatly.</p><p>Emma turns back to look at her, eyes blazing. “You mean saving our Queen’s life?” she pauses. “What would you have me do instead, let her die?”</p><p>“I do not know. But I am concerned. You showed up her entire guard by saving her. The role of the Serai does not include personal security… thankfully that fool George is already circulating rumours that it was him who alerted her by attempting to jump in the line of fire.”</p><p>Emma scoffs. “That idiot wouldn’t save his own mother.”</p><p>“True, but I confess I am doing nothing to quash the rumours. I’d rather the kingdom believed he saved her than you.” Maleficent muses.</p><p>This bothers Emma, though she can’t say why. Regina’s treatment of her has already demonstrated how little she cares for her, but Emma cannot stand the thought that Regina may not know who saved her.</p><p>“Is there anything further, Miss Swan?”</p><p>Emma tilts her head to one side in question. “What will happen to Whale?”</p><p>“I believe the Queen has ordered him to be dismembered and sent back to Cora piece by piece. After being tortured, of course.” Maleficent says callously.</p><p>“Why tortured? I was under the impression that Jefferson gave all the information needed.”</p><p>“Yes. However, torture is standard in these situations, it makes for a more effective message.”</p><p>“I see.” Emma is horrified but maintains her composure. “That is all then.”</p><p>Maleficent lifts the corner of her mouth in a smirk. “I shall take my leave. By the way, the Queen has sent for you. She is waiting for you in the library.”</p><p>Emma narrows her eyes at Maleficent but keeps her feelings in check. “Thank you for informing me with such… precision.” she turns her back to her and sweeps out of the gardens trying to keep her steps to a walk.</p><p>She hurries to the library concerned by how long Regina may have already been waiting for her. Maleficent’s smirk suggests it may have been some time already.</p><p>She may be furious with her, and heartbroken, but she is no fool, she must not betray her emotions now. In addition to keeping Regina waiting, she is also dressed far too simply to be in her presence, however there is no time to return to the Serai to adequately prepare. She must make do, and pray that Regina is forgiving. Her calm mood has all but vanished as she approaches the library. She pauses as she reaches the door and takes a moment to smooth down her clothing and windswept hair. She is frustrated and her heart is racing. As she reaches for the door handle she focuses on the vision she had that morning and uses it to calm her. None of this matters now.</p><p>Taking a deep breath she turns the handle and enters.</p><p>Regina is standing by the window facing away from her, gazing out towards the forest. She is dressed in her riding clothes, she has already obviously been out this morning.</p><p>“You called for me?” Emma says softly, crossing the room quickly and stopping just in front of her. Despite everything that has happened in the last twenty four hours this woman is still the centre of her life, and will be until her last breath. No matter the path laid out before her now. “I apologise for making you wait. I was with Maleficent and she was somewhat delayed in telling me you wished to see me.”</p><p>Regina does not turn, but her voice is soft. “Why were you meeting with Mal?”</p><p>“I was concerned about the lack of security.” Emma leaves it at that. “Apparently George is quite the lifesaver,” she adds, with a touch of bitterness.</p><p>Finally Regina turns to look at her, and the same reaction Emma always has at the sight of her runs through her body. But now she knows differently; and does not let it sway her. It is the end of them, and Emma fights back tears all of a sudden.</p><p>Regina sighs and crosses the room to the chair in front of the fire gesturing to Emma to sit on the settee opposite. “That weasel. You realise of course that now I am compelled to give him the Ambassador position.”</p><p>“I expected nothing less.” Emma had realised that immediately. Even though he had done nothing but be pushed and fall, he would still need to be rewarded somehow.</p><p>“I am sorry,” Regina says wearily.</p><p>Emma is always surprised when Regina speaks to her this way, like the Queen needs to apologise to anyone. “Yes, I suppose his courage and sacrifice has to be rewarded in some manner.” She is becoming angry again, feels it rising to the surface.</p><p>Regina looks at her with a wry smile. “If you can call falling courageous. However Mal is happily fanning the fire of that rumour I can assure you.”</p><p>Emma frowns. “I am aware. Surely you know it makes no matter to me? What I do not understand is your need to torture and dismember any time you get the chance.”</p><p>Regina narrows her eyes, “I assume you mean Whale?”</p><p>Emma nods.</p><p>Regina shakes her head. “I should have separated you and August years ago. You are both too brazen for your own good.” She pauses. “Yes, I had ordered him to be tortured and dismembered. I thought it would send an effective message to my mother… However, I changed my mind this morning. By now Whale will have been executed, a quick clean kill. He is to be buried in the forest.”</p><p>“I don’t understand?” Emma asks, confused. “Is that really true?” It is then that she remembers that Regina had seen three ravens the following day… a death… or, a fork in the path.</p><p>Regina’s tone hardens slightly. “Why would I try and deceive you, Emma? What reason do I have? There were witnesses, or perhaps I should send his head to your bedchamber as evidence?”</p><p>“I am afraid to ask… What changed your mind?”</p><p>“And yet you just did,” Regina replies. “You aren’t usually afraid to ask questions, it is unlike you.”</p><p>“Well you are not acting like yourself either,” Emma retorts, then immediately regrets it.</p><p>To her surprise Regina just smiles. “That’s true. Tell me, did Maleficent upset you just now?”</p><p>Emma shakes her head uneasily. “No. Well perhaps a little. I’m sure it was her intention to.” She shifts in her seat. “I think she is just concerned about what happened yesterday, she does not want balances to shift. She does not want me to gain more power than her at court. She will probably settle down once the rumour of George saving your life is well and truly circulated. After all, no one really saw what happened.”</p><p>“I did.” Regina says sharply. “I saw exactly what happened.”</p><p>Emma’s breath catches in her throat. “You did?”</p><p>“I did. I agree with Mal that it will be easier to just say it was George, but that is not the truth. I will speak to her later and ensure that rumours are quashed. I want the court and the whole kingdom to know the truth.”</p><p>For a moment Emma cannot believe what she is hearing. Regina has never before cared about the truth if it was not convenient, or not the truth she wanted. She wants to say something, but the words will not come, so she settles for “You should go riding more often.”</p><p>Regina lets out a laugh. “I go riding every day.”</p><p>“Why?” Emma asks breathlessly, “Why did you change your mind about Whale? And why… why do you care that people know the truth? You never have before.”</p><p>Regina is silent, for so long in fact that Emma begins to believe she will not answer at all.</p><p>“Do you believe in reincarnation?” she asks suddenly, and Emma blinks in surprise at such a question.</p><p>“I’m not sure…” she says slowly, “I have not really thought about it.”</p><p>“When I was young I had a nurse from a country far away from here. She had dark skin and a kind face and she told me stories, stories of the afterlife. Many of her stories were simple tales designed to entertain children, but one stuck with me throughout the years. She believed that we are born time and time again into different bodies and different realms and different times… the point of all these lives is to learn, both from our mistakes and also how to grow and do better each lifetime, and then when the time came and we have earned it we are reborn one last time… into… heaven I suppose. She called it Nirvana.” Regina pauses, then stands and moves towards the fire.</p><p>“And what then?” Emma asks.</p><p>“After that no one knows. I suppose it is a place of peace. Can you imagine that?” Regina asks, her tone odd. “To be honest, I never liked the story though it did stick with me. Perhaps even at such a young age I knew I could never achieve such a state. And now… having done all I’ve done in my life? Well. It seems a foolish notion.” She moves to sit back down, now seating herself next to Emma on the settee. “I do not like the feeling that what we do with our life is only a steppingstone, a piece in a game. I want what I do in this life to be of consequence. I need to know that I matter.”</p><p>“I think I agree with you,” Emma says gently. “But why are you telling me this if you don’t agree with it?”</p><p>Regina looks back towards the fire, “Because each night this year I have had the same dream. That I have been reborn, into Nirvana.” She turns to look at her, and Emma looks back, directly into Regina’s calm deep brown eyes. “And in every single one of those dreams you have been by my side and nothing has held us apart, and no one has come between.”</p><p>Emma just stares at her, deep in shock at what she has just heard. She feels blindsided. She had no warning, no inkling of Regina’s true feelings. Or perhaps… perhaps she did but she was just too blind to see. She is blind now, blinded by the tears of wonder and joy streaming down her face.</p><p>But Regina has not finished. “Emma, I needed you so much last night I frightened myself. I did not send for you only because I had to come to terms with the terror I felt when I saw you jump in front of that poisoned dart. Calling for Robin was a deception, nothing more. My mother has more spies in my court and I could not allow her the satisfaction of knowing how upset I was. I spent the whole night in my office, not my bedroom… wondering how we got here and where I am supposed to go from here. What it means that I have so renounced my claim to my Mother’s throne that she sends an assassin… who failed only because of you. I cannot excuse this, but I was so consumed by these thoughts that I only realised near dawn that I had left you alone all night. You did not deserve that. You deserved to be here, by my side so we could take comfort in each other and consider these thoughts together. Oh Emma, my darling, can you ever forgive me?”</p><p>Emma still cannot speak, her tears still streaming. <em>I want time to stop, </em>she thinks, <em>I want to never leave this room, I want to hear these words spoken over and over, endlessly, until I die.</em></p><p>Regina holds out her arms and pulls Emma into them. Emma’s heart stills. She breathes in the scent of Regina’s skin, her hair, and sighs. Regina loves her. She has all but said the words, and Emma loves her back. She can no longer deny it. She wishes with all her heart that things were different, that her family were not who they are… That she had not lost those closest to her. And she wishes Regina had not left her alone with those thoughts and reminders all evening. She clings to Regina tightly and for a moment time stops, and there is nothing but the two of them.</p><p>Eventually Emma pulls back to look at her, and Regina brushes hair from her face gently.</p><p>Emma takes a breath. “What will you do now?”</p><p>And Regina tells her. She tells her everything.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Part Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Regina reaches forward and tucks a strand of Emma’s hair behind her ear. “What do you think, my love?”</p><p>“I think it’s a bold move, and I love you for it,” she whispers, gently lifting her head out of Regina’s lap and kissing her cheek.</p><p>“I’m pleased you think so. Nothing is more important to me than your good opinion.” Regina smirks.</p><p>“Nothing?” Emma raises her eyebrows.</p><p>“Well… perhaps I can think of a few things.” Regina murmurs, once again brushing her hair aside and running her lips down her cheek.  </p><p>“Mmmm…”</p><p> “Have I rendered you speechless, my dear?” Regina continues down her cheek and onto her neck, flicking her tongue out every so often and savouring the taste.</p><p>Emma chooses not to answer, instead she slides lower down the settee pulling Regina with her. “Perhaps we should retire to your bed chamber?”</p><p>Regina shakes her head with a smile, “I’d rather stay here. Besides, no one will disturb us.”</p><p>“No one would dare disturb you,” Emma murmurs as she pulls on the buttons of Regina’s coat.  Within seconds she has the whole coat undone and off her shoulders. Regina follows suit and soon Emma is naked except for her shift which is so sheer it does not leave much to the imagination. Emma pulls at Regina’s pants, undoing them and pulling them down and off entirely. Regina lowers her mouth to one of Emma nipples and mouths it gently, until it is hard and Emma is moaning her name.</p><p>Soon they are both naked and somehow Regina has ended up on the floor, while Emma is still on the settee stretched out fully. “Come here,” she says gently, reaching down with her hand.</p><p>Regina shakes her head. “No.” She pulls Emma to face her and opens her legs gently.</p><p>Emma’s heart thuds. Regina is not a giver, she never gives. Not like this.</p><p>Regina dips her head down and licks Emma’s slit gently, then again and again until Emma’s head rolls back and she collapses again the back of the settee. Regina’s mouth is hot against her, her tongue entering her over and over, slow swirling circles and thrusts and it’s too much. Too much sensation, and Emma moans loudly, so loudly she is sure someone will hear them. Regina does not  notice as she slows the thrust of her tongue and instead moves to Emma clit, running slow lazy circles around it over and over until eventually she takes it into her mouth and sucks hard.</p><p>Emma’s whole body grows taut and her breath leaves her body for a moment as her thighs tighten and clench and she comes with a loud moan.</p><p>“You’re all too easy to please.” Regina says, as she lifts her head and pulls herself back up the settee to settle next to Emma.</p><p>“You’re the only one who pleases me so quickly. I’m mostly difficult.” Emma breathes.</p><p>“I cannot imagine that is true, not my sweet darling Emma.” Regina slaps Emma’s thigh lightly, before climbing on top of her lap, resting her legs on either side of Emma’s.</p><p>Emma retaliates by working her hand between them and stroking Regina gently, enjoying the feel of her warm core. Slowly she works in one finger and smiles against Regina’s breast as she feels her body tighten above her. She loves this, loves how she feels and how well they fit together. Regina moans appreciatively and arches her back, her breasts raising to the sky. Emma lifts her free hand and runs it down Regina’s chest between her breasts, letting a thumb brush almost absently over a nipple. Regina wobbles slightly so Emma lowers her hand and cups it around her hips, caressing her gently as she slips a second finger in. Regina feels soft and warm and wet, so wet. She loves the feel of her, she loves making her moan and sigh and watching her come undone in her arms.</p><p>She has never felt this way about anyone, not Neal, not any of the men she encountered in her youth. There must surely be a curse upon her to make her feel this ferociously for someone who she should rightly hate above all else. She cannot though, she cannot deny herself any longer. She loves Regina wholly, completely, and right now in this moment that is all that matters. Regina moves above her and moans… calls out her name as Emma pushes deeper and deeper inside her, curling her fingers in and pulling, pushing, stroking her over and over until she screams in ecstasy and collapses on top of her.</p><p>Sometime later, when they have made their way to Regina’s bedchamber, and are both sated for a second time, Emma rolls over onto her back, her legs still entwined with Regina’s and sighs. “Tell me again of your intentions? It surely will not be easy.”</p><p>Regina pulls her close and tucks her under her arm so Emma’s head is resting on her breast. “My love… I have thought only of my desires and less of how it may be done. Now my mother has made it clear she believes me a lost cause I feel no attachment at all to my home country, and no desire to put them first any longer. It is this country, Dánjal, that must come first for me now. I must put my people first; and learn how to be their leader. This is the only way I can ever hope to defeat her, it’s the only chance I have at being happy… with you.”</p><p>Emma thinks about this for a few moments, and the vision of water returns to her for a moment, can it be that it still might come to pass? Is this the way forward for her? For them?</p><p>Regina bends to kiss the top of Emma’s head gently.</p><p>“Regina may I speak freely?” Emma asks uncertainly.</p><p>“Of course you may, my darling.”</p><p>“If you wish to make this country your own you need to consider its history, its customs. You must have the people rallied behind you if you wish them to fight for you, which at present I don’t believe you have.”</p><p>Regina considers this. “You are correct. I’d like to think I’ve been a fair ruler but I realise I have not embraced this country the way I should have. There is still… a lot of pain involved, and I know I’ve taken it out on the people at times. It’s hard for me, to separate the two.”</p><p>Emma closes her eyes. She loves this woman, she does. But it is hard to hear her mention the pain she has felt when Emma has seen and felt the pain she has caused. The two do not measure up. “You need to adopt the customs of the people, show them you are one of them.” She wonders for a moment if she should tell Regina the truth… she could help her, she could. If only she knew who she really was. Her heart thuds heavily in her chest as she considers it.</p><p>Regina strokes her back lightly, leaving hot trails on her skin.</p><p>Emma closes her eyes, she cannot do it. Not yet. But there is something. “There is one possibility. A ritual so powerful it is said to bring good fortune and prosperity, even victory to the whole realm if it is successful. It is called the Ring Dive.”</p><p>“The Ring Dive?” Regina frowns.</p><p>Emma nods. “It has not been attempted for many years, in fact not at all during my lifetime. I was a child when I heard the stories, even though I lived in Stiltskin. King Rumple scoffed at them, called it a flight of fancy but he could not stop them from being told among his people.”</p><p> “Tell me about it.”</p><p>“Lake Nostros… you know it?”</p><p>Regina nods.</p><p>“It is rumoured to be a magical lake, full of strange creatures. Some even say it’s cursed.”</p><p>“I don’t believe in curses.” Regina says uncertainly. “Though I agree the lake is very strange. I have only visited it once, during my first year here, and it was strange enough to make me not wish to return.”</p><p> “You are not alone in that feeling. The dive itself is fairly simple. A ring is thrown into the depths of the lake, and it is retrieved by the true love of the one who throws it in. It was often completed by the King or Queen of the realm, and their prospective spouse or lover, and if successful it meant the rulers’ reign would be a prosperous one.”</p><p>“I take it by successful you mean the ring is retrieved and returned to its owner?” Regina asks quietly.</p><p>Emma nods. “It is a simple ritual in all but execution. No one knows exactly what lies beneath the surface of the lake, but it is assured to not be an easy to task to swim to the bottom and retrieve a ring, even without the added mysteries of the lake.”</p><p>“And if the ritual is not successful? What exactly does that mean?”</p><p>“The diver never resurfaces.” Emma says, “This is why the ritual has all but been abandoned. Most rulers believed it was not worth the risk. Many people in the past died in the attempt.”</p><p>“Surely there were some who made it back to the surface but could not find the ring?” Regina says, frowning. “They cannot all have died.”</p><p>Emma gives a small shrug. “The stories never mention anyone resurfacing without the ring. To do so would be to fail, and to put the kingdom in jeopardy.”</p><p>“People chose to die instead?” Regina raises her eyebrows in surprise.</p><p>“Does that truly surprise you? That a woman would put the fate of her kingdom above her own life?”</p><p>“What are you really asking, Emma?” Regina sits up, pulling Emma with her and cupping her face gently with one hand.</p><p>“If you wish to truly be a part of this country, to lead it and protect it you must make a point of embracing what is important to it. The Ring Dive may not have been attempted for many years but it is still an important tradition, and would make a strong gesture. If successful it would most certainly win the people over, they would embrace you as their ruler and would fight for you against Cora if needed.” Emma truly believes this is true. She knows Regina has the capability to be an excellent and fair queen, despite her past, and if she manages to retrieve the ring for her it will be all she needs to unite the people behind her.</p><p>Regina caresses her head gently, running a finger down the length of her cheek. “Emma, my love… No. I cannot risk your life in this way. The thought of putting you in danger is abhorrent to me. I cannot risk you for something so frivolous.”</p><p>“It is not frivolous. You need this, the people need this. It is the only way for you to succeed. I could do it. I promise you, Regina.” Emma says in earnest, as the vision of water flashes behind her eyes.</p><p>“My darling, I know you could. You could do anything. But I cannot risk losing you.”</p><p>Emma frowns. “You don’t believe in me?”</p><p>Regina shakes her head. “You know that is not true.”</p><p>“You must do this Regina, you have no other choice. Your mother has already tried to kill you once, I am sure she will again. You must rise against her, and soon.”</p><p>Regina takes both of her hands and presses them to her lips. “If I agree to this, if I let you do this for me then you must do something else as well.”</p><p>Emma’s eyebrows raise in question.</p><p>“Marry me.” Regina says seriously.</p><p>Emma’s heart stops… time stops for a moment… she forgets her revenge, forgets that this is the woman who destroyed her family, forgets everything other than Regina and how much she loves her. “I will.” she whispers. “I will marry you.”</p><p>Regina pulls her close. “From this day onwards our life begins. I will abandon the Serai, and you will be presented tomorrow as a Princess of Dánjal, soon to be Queen.”</p><p>A knot forms in Emma’s throat as she suddenly realises she is already a princess. She has always been a princess of this country, and she is about to marry a woman who does not know who she truly is. She wishes with all her heart that this was still the White Kingdom, and that her parents were alive and still ruled… and that Regina was the Queen of Misthaven, and they were to be married in an alliance formed with love. She can almost imagine how it would be, how strong they would be when their kingdoms were united… a force to be reckoned with.</p><p>But it will never be so…</p><p>Fate is so cruel.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Emma finds the next month moves incredibly quickly. For the first time she fervently wishes to slow time, to give herself the chance to catch up on her feelings, to decide how to proceed. For she knows she cannot go on much longer like this. She must decide between her desire for revenge and her love for Regina.</p><p>She vacillates between wishing she had killed Regina years earlier before they fell in love; and wishing she had never known who her parents were. She is fully aware that she only has one true path forward, but she is not sure she has the courage to tell Regina who she really is.</p><p>And so she does nothing, and each day that passes something else changes. The preparations for the wedding move forward quickly, and though she technically still has her rooms in the Serai she spends all of each evening in Regina’s quarters. August comments on her lack of appetite and she brushes him off, saying she is simply nervous for the upcoming nuptials. He is not convinced; but remains silent and watches her with careful eyes and a guarded expression.</p><p>It is not just the wedding that preparations are being made for. The word of the ring dive has reached the far edges of the kingdom and her subjects are flocking to Regina’s castle to see if it is true.  As Emma predicted this has given the people a new hope in their leader, and the excitement of an old ritual reborn. For her part, there is little to do to prepare. August has been working on both her wedding dress, and the dress she will wear for the ring dive, but she must prepare herself mentally. This gives her too much time alone to think, and she struggles with the two halves of her heart at war within her.</p><p>Regina is not so caught up in the whole affair that she does not notice Emma sinking further into depression each day. She too watches her carefully and tries to coax her to eat more, or to talk, but this only worsens Emma’s confusion as much as she welcomes the attention.</p><p>One evening they are sitting by the fire in Regina’s sitting room and Emma is once again uncharacteristically quiet. Unable to bear the silence any longer, Regina speaks. “Do you truthfully want to marry me Emma? Or do you only see it as your duty?”</p><p>Emma looks at her in surprise, “Of course I want to marry you. Why would you think otherwise?”</p><p>“You have not been yourself at all since I proposed to you and the preparations started. Is it the dive? I don’t expect that of you, my love. If you are unsure then please tell me. I do not wish you to think that I only proposed to you for the sake of the dive. It makes no difference to me if you do the dive or not, in fact I’d prefer you did not.” Regina frowns.</p><p>The Ring Dive is the one thing Emma is sure about. When she thinks of it for some strange reason she feels a connection to her past, to her parents, even though the practice had been abandoned before their time. She shakes her head, “No Regina, it isn’t the Ring Dive. I am proud to do that for you. I am nervous, I won’t deny it. It’s a daunting task, but I assure you I am prepared and more than willing.” She reaches out and takes her hand. “I am alright, I assure you... There is just, much on my mind.”</p><p>“Will you tell me?”</p><p>“I’m not sure that I can.”</p><p>Regina leans in close to her and cups her chin in her hand. “Emma, are you afraid of me?”</p><p>Emma is just about to open her mouth and say no, when she realises that is not true. And Regina deserves the truth, at least as much as she can give her. “Yes, I am.”</p><p>Regina sighs, and leans back heavily. “I suppose that is to be expected, given your previous status but it concerns me nonetheless. Emma, even when you were just a member of the Serai you had no reason to be afraid. I would never have hurt you, not then and not now.”</p><p>“You must admit I had no way of knowing that at the time.”</p><p>“This is true, however you certainly gave no indication of fear at all in the last decade, not even in your first years here.” Regina smiles at the memory.</p><p>Emma closes her eyes, “I did not have anything to be afraid of back then,” she murmurs.</p><p>“But now you do?” Regina’s smile fades.</p><p>Emma sits up straight suddenly and shifts to face her. “There is much I am afraid of. I’m afraid that the people will not accept you no matter what you do, I’m afraid of the changing dynamics here; of what will happen to Robin, and Graham and the rest of the Serai… what will happen to August and the other attendants? I am afraid that your staff will not accept me or us, and will make life very difficult for me. I am afraid for my past and my memories… and above all I am afraid of losing you.”</p><p>Regina blinks. “That is much for one person to feel all at once. Why have you not asked me about some of these things?”</p><p>Emma gives a small shrug. “I did not wish to make things complicated, also it is hard to remember my place here… what I must do.”</p><p>“What you must do? Emma, there is nothing you must do. We are equals now. You must not be afraid of speaking your mind for fear of retribution. You must be honest with me.” Regina says softly.</p><p>Emma’s stomach flips, and she wonders if perhaps she could have her heart’s desire, if only she can be brave enough. Would Regina really cast her aside if she found out the truth?</p><p>Regina continues, “As for Robin and the rest of the Serai, they will be well cared for. As you know I have all but disbanded them and once we are married they will be sent away from the castle for the most part, but all will be provided for, and some may choose to stay here. Those that choose to remain will have other jobs found for them. August I assume will remain here as your own personal assistant. You cannot imagine that I would force him away from you?”</p><p>“You always said we were too dangerous together.”</p><p>“As a member of the Serai that might have been true, but yet I never moved him from your service, did I? I could see how much he meant to you. If he is happy here he will remain with you always.” Regina strokes her hair lightly. “As for losing me, I cannot assist with that as it is something I am terrified of myself. I suppose that is what love does, makes us constantly worried for the other, for their health and well-being. We must trust in each other and have faith.”</p><p>Emma pulls herself out of Regina’s grasp. “That isn’t what I meant, not exactly.”</p><p>“What do you mean then?”</p><p>Emma sighs, she can no longer deceive Regina. “I mentioned my past… I have not, I have not been entirely honest with you about who I am.”</p><p>Now Regina sits up, and frowning she pulls back slightly. “I don’t understand.”</p><p>“I am not from Stiltskin. I’m from here… from… from the White Kingdom.”</p><p>Regina hisses at the mention of the name. That alone gives her away as Emma should not be able to speak it. “Tell me.” Her eyes have stilled, and grown cold.</p><p>Emma tells her, slowly and haltingly but Regina does not interrupt. She listens until Emma has finished the whole wretched story.</p><p>Finally when Emma has long since lapsed into silence she stands and moves to face the fireplace. “You are telling me you’ve kept this secret for a decade? Ten years you’ve been here. Ten years under my roof. The daughter of… of that… I cannot bear this. You knew, I’ve told you… what she did… your… <em>mother</em>” she spits the word out as if it tastes bad. “How could you do this to me? Has she not taken enough? And now… she takes you from me too.”</p><p>Emma shakes her head, the tears spilling once again down her cheeks following recent tracks. “You have not lost me. This changes nothing for me, I love you.”</p><p>Regina spins angrily around to glare at her, “This changes <em>everything</em> you stupid naïve child! Do you not understand? How can I ever look at you the same way? How can we…” she takes a deep breath, as though she might be ill. “Why? Why did you come here? That is the one part of all this I do not understand. If you are who you say, then why would you come here? After all… everything you must have suffered why would you wish to be in the company of your parents’ greatest enemy… unless.” Her eyes widen and she covers her mouth. “You… were going to kill me.”</p><p>Emma nods at her miserably, unable to lie any longer.</p><p> “I don’t understand why you did not. You certainly had several chances over the last decade…” Regina pauses for some time.  “Why then did you save my life?”</p><p>The pain in her voice cuts through Emma like a knife. “Because I fell in love with you!” she cries. “Can you not see that?”</p><p>Regina’s face grows cold, hardening to stone. “No Emma, I cannot. You have made a fool out of me. You have betrayed me, and placed us both on a path to destruction. I understand now.” She turns away. “Leave. Go back to your rooms and stay there. I shall never summon you again.”</p><p>Emma leaves. She has no choice, Regina is right. She has betrayed her; and her mother and father… and Neal and Granny and Killian. She has betrayed her people. She is fit for nothing any longer.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Three days later, Emma has still not left her rooms. She has eaten little and does nothing except sit by her window listlessly watching the meaningless events of the castle square below. August informs her that the wedding plans are still on, although no one has seen Regina for days.  There are rumours flying around the palace that she must be ill… or regretting her decision to marry a lower born member of the Serai.</p><p>Emma thinks it is somewhat ironic as Regina is indeed regretting her decision, though only because she found out Emma is actually royalty. She can only imagine what the rumour mill would do with the truth.</p><p>After patiently trying to coax her to talk, to eat, to do something, anything, August eventually loses his patience and demands the truth from her. She gives it to him in great sobbing heaps, unable to hold back any longer. It is as if her telling the truth has broken her shell and now the ugly mess she is inside is spilling out in every direction. August holds her tightly and lets her cry until she exhausts herself.</p><p>“To be honest, I always suspected,” he says gently.</p><p>“You suspected I was Snow White’s daughter?” Emma asks in disbelief.</p><p>“Well no, that part really is quite unbelievable. But I always suspected you weren’t who you said you were. That you had a very different past, and were from a noble family at least.”</p><p>“I see. I haven’t been as good at hiding it as I thought have I?”</p><p>August smiles gently. “No, that isn’t true. You’ve been exceptional at keeping the truth from us all, including yourself I suspect. But you forget how close the two of us are. I see you at your best and at your worst. I know you, Emma.”</p><p>Emma nods. “I know you do. Oh August, you are the closest and best friend I have ever had. What will I do now?”</p><p>August takes both her hands seriously. “You cannot stay here. It isn’t safe for you. I’m not sure why she has not cancelled the wedding and revealed your identity yet, but she will. It is only a matter of time and you cannot be here when that happens. We must manage to smuggle you out of the castle.”</p><p>Emma shakes her head. “I must remain here. This is my place, even if she no longer loves me.”</p><p>“Emma, she could arrest you and execute you for treason.”</p><p>Emma considers this. “Then let her. She is within her rights.”</p><p>“Emma…” August looks at her, pained.</p><p>She shakes her head firmly. “It is my decision August. I’m sorry.”</p><p>He hugs her tightly once again and helps her to her bed. He brings her tea, though she begs him for coffee and sits with her for the rest of the afternoon. She sleeps fitfully.</p><p>Then the evening comes, and Regina summons her.</p><p>August wants to take the time to dress her properly, and do her hair the way Regina likes, in soft curls that spill over her shoulders and down her back but Emma refuses. She does not wish to take the time, she just wishes to know what will happen to her now, and she does not need to be primped for that. She settles on a demure dress in an icy blue colour that shows off her assets without being ostentatious, and a simple hair style that is little more than a twisted bun. August insist on makeup, “You look like a ghost, Emma.” But Emma does not think it will make any difference and only allows the bare minimum.</p><p>Within thirty minutes of receiving the message she is ready and August escorts her through the Serai to Regina’s chambers. He leaves her at the guardroom door with a squeeze of the hand and a brush of a kiss against her cheek. “I will wait right here for you. Do not do anything foolish.”</p><p>Emma gives him a tiny smile, then pushes open the door. The guards escort her through to Regina’s sitting room, where she finds Maleficent waiting for her.</p><p>Maleficent greets her with a frown. “She is in her bedchamber. You may go through.”</p><p>Emma nods once, unable to speak for the hope that thunders through her chest.</p><p>“Miss Swan?” Maleficent asks casually. “Whatever you have done to hurt her so greatly I will ensure you pay for it.”</p><p>Emma turns back to glare at her. “I am already paying for it,” she says fiercely. “I’ve paid for it all my life.” She turns and disappears down the corridor.</p><p>Regina is waiting for her, standing stiffly next to her dressing table.</p><p>Emma hovers by the door, unsure of where to stand or what to say. Just as she opens her mouth to speak Regina holds up a hand to silence her. “I do not wish to hear you speak, especially if it is to make more excuses. You have made a fool out of me, however I will not allow you to make a mockery of this kingdom. The Ring Dive will go ahead as planned, and you must be successful. Our wedding will also go ahead, though our marriage will be in name only. You are not to divulge this secret to anyone else; you have kept it for ten years I see no reason for that not to continue.”</p><p>Emma nods mutely. To be honest this is far more than she expected… although it is also perhaps the cruellest punishment of all.</p><p>Regina sweeps past her and out the door, where she pauses for a moment. “I wanted to kill you… But I found myself unable to. Perhaps one day that will change… You will remain here tonight. We must keep up appearances.” She turns her back and closes the door firmly behind her.</p><p>Emma lets out her breath in a dry sob and steps further into the room towards the bed. She looks at it glumly and then lets herself fall to the floor in a heap, her back resting lightly against the bedframe. She will wait here until morning, then August will come for her.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Emma wakes up on the morning of the Ring Dive feeling a kind of peace she has not felt for several years. She has made her choice; her decision, and she has come to terms with it. She will not destroy Regina or the memories of her parents, she has found a third option. Perhaps this way she will manage to honour them both, and with some luck Regina will still unite the kingdom.</p><p>She rises slowly, savouring this last day, and wraps herself in a silk robe before she heads to the window for her morning coffee. Over the last decade this time has meant so much to her, it is time for herself to think and reflect on who she is and where she will go from here. She closes her eyes and breaths deeply as she thinks once again of her parents.</p><p>When Emma was very small she had fallen ill with scarlet fever. At the time all she knew was she was unable to get out of bed and she was hot all the time. Her mother had refused to leave her side, and sat with her, holding her and singing to her softly or reading her stories. Emma remembers how her hands felt, and how soft her dark curling hair was as it fell onto Emma’s forehead. She discovered years later how her father had begged her mother to leave her bedside as scarlet fever was terribly contagious and more often fatal than not. But Snow would not be dissuaded and held tightly to Emma until her fever broke. The gods must have been smiling on them because Snow never fell ill, and Emma recovered without complications… but she can still remember how that illness felt, the worry in her mother’s eyes as she smoothed the sweat soaked hair from her forehead. During that time Emma was so close to death she saw his hand reaching out towards her.</p><p>She wonders if she is about to experience that again, that hot fiery suffocating feeling as she sees death’s hand or if this will be the opposite and she will die freezing cold and alone.</p><p>She suspects it will be the latter.</p><p>She finds she cannot bring herself to regret the decision that led to this day’s events, but wonders once again how it is possible that a young woman who loved so fiercely and completely could end up so twisted in hatred that she brought an entire country to their knees. She thinks of the two of them, young Regina in her pale green riding coat, kind smile and dark braid and young Snow, the spoiled princess so desperately enamoured with Regina that she could not bear to lose her.</p><p>Emma thinks of the two of them, before all the terrible things they had done to each other, and blinks back tears. She forces herself to stop crying as August will come for her soon, and he knows her so well, too well. She must remain calm, and focused. He of all people cannot suspect what she intends to do.</p><p>After a time she rises and heads back into her bedchamber, dressing in the outfit August has so carefully prepared her for. It is lovely and elegant, a soft ivory colour with a high neck and full sleeves and skirt. The bodice is fitted and covered with a fine lace. It is a demure but elegant dress and Emma loves it. Underneath the dress is the shift she must wear for the dive. Once dressed she opens the French doors to her balcony and lets the morning breeze waft into her rooms. It is a perfect day, mild but not too cold and the soft wind feels like heaven on her cheeks. The crowds have begun to gather in the square below, eager to see her this morning. People have come far and wide to witness the Ring Dive and will escort her on her journey. Emma smiles at them from her balcony and waves once before returning inside. It makes her sad, these people have come to see her thinking that she is the hope for their future. But she isn’t, their only hope is Regina.</p><p>Despite her sadness she feels a strong sense of calm today, it surprises her. She has not seen Regina in weeks, though she has been summoned to her rooms nightly she is never there. Some nights Emma would remain until the morning and some August would collect her after a few hours. It made no difference, Regina had never shown up.</p><p>August knocks gently on the door before letting himself in. In his arms he is carrying another dress bag. “Do you wish to see it?”</p><p>“Show me,” she says softly.</p><p>The dress is beautiful, white with a full hooped skirt. The bodice is strapless made of white silk, with a lace bolero with pearl buttons up to her neck. It is elaborately beaded, dripping with crystals and pearls. It is the most beautiful thing Emma has ever seen. “Oh August. It’s beautiful. Thank you.”</p><p>He smiles at her sadly. “You will make a beautiful bride Emma.”</p><p>She smiles back at him, but says nothing. He leads her to her dressing table and gets to work on her hair. The morning sun streams in and she closes her eyes and lets her mind drift to her parents. She remembers her father’s strong jaw, his sense of humour, the way he used to cup the back of her head gently as he kissed her forehead. She remembers her mother’s dark curling hair, her gentle smile, how soft her hands were and the feel of her arms as she held her tightly. She thinks of Neal’s boyish grin and the way he used to tickle her gently just to make her smile… she thinks of Regina, of making love under the stars, of talking all night until they ran out of breath and fell asleep in each other’s arms. She thinks of them reading together in the gardens, of talking strategy late into the night. She thinks of the night she almost lost her, the night everything changed and led them to this awful conclusion.</p><p>August finishes her hair, softly styled in gentle curls and tops it with a crown of dried flowers.</p><p>She stands and faces him. “Will I do?” she keeps her voice casual.</p><p>He does not follow that lead. “You frighten me,” he says quietly. “You look as though you are no longer entirely of this world. As if you have already left us all behind.”</p><p>Emma remains silent, unsure of herself.</p><p>“I am sorry things worked out this way. I should have done more to protect you,” August says sadly. “Can you forgive me?”</p><p>Emma reaches out and touches his face gently, tracing it into her memory. “There is really nothing to forgive, August.” She squeezes his hands tightly. In her heart she is bidding him farewell, knowing she must not cry. She looks into his honest, caring face, the truest friend she’s had for so many years, and she hopes fervently that in the days to come, he will remember the way she had gripped his hands and not the casual, careless sound of her words. </p><p>“I am ready,” she says quietly.</p><p>“Yes, you are.”</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>There are more people gathered in the castle square than she had realised. People line the pathways in such numbers that the slightest push would topple them over. The guards are keeping watch, and keeping the crowds still and orderly. Emma starts when she recognises Graham among them. She wonders how that must be for him, to go from a high ranking member of the Serai to a simple guard, but he seems to be happy enough. He catches her eye and grins at her. She smiles faintly back at him, still somewhat overwhelmed by the sheer numbers of people who have come to see her today.</p><p>She can feel August at her back, a steady hand on her waist guiding her down the steps towards where her horse is saddled and waiting for her. When she is safely mounted she realises that Regina is next to her, patiently waiting on her own horse.</p><p>“You look beautiful my love.” Regina says clearly, with a look of such tenderness and warmth Emma almost believes it is real.</p><p>“Thank you.” she murmurs. “As do you.” It is the truth, although Emma can scarcely stand to look at her for fear of crying. Tears will not inspire much hope for her people. She takes a breath and lifts her eyes to look directly at Regina. She is wearing a dark red dress, with fitted sleeves that flare from her elbows, the front of the bodice is decorated with fine silver and black lace and shows a large amount of cleavage, the skirt is full and long, almost too long for the two hour ride to the lake. She looks stunning, and Emma cannot help but give a small sigh.</p><p>Regina smiles and reaches out to place a hand over Emma’s. “I can see you are nervous, don’t be. I know with all my heart that you won’t let me down.” Her fingers tighten uncomfortably over Emma’s.</p><p>Emma nods once then gently pulls her hand away as she turns to face the people who have gathered to see them off. Many will most likely follow them on foot, and she expects even more will have gathered at Lake Nostros to watch the dive itself.</p><p>Regina clicks her heels and flicks her horse’s reins, and just like that, they are off.</p><p>The journey is far shorter than Emma would have liked, they speak only a little, neither having the energy to pretend.</p><p>Once they arrive Emma is helped off her horse and ushered to a small tent that has been set aside for her to prepare. She waits patiently, and soon August arrives and removes the circlet of flowers from her head and pins her loose curls onto the top of her head one by one. She is to go into the lake wearing only a thin shift and nothing must get in the way of her vision or her ability to swim easily. She thanks her parents silently for teaching her how to swim as a child.</p><p>Once ready she is wrapped in a soft white robe and led out of the tent and down to the water’s edge. A small platform has been erected for Regina to throw the ring from, and to watch as the dive commences. She is forbidden from entering the lake herself under any circumstance.</p><p>As Emma suspected, a large crowd has gathered. She can see them on all sides of the lake. Nobles and commoners, merchants and bakers, children and adults alike. Everyone is here together, not separated by class or rank, all united by their love for their country and respect for its traditions. It strikes Emma how bizarre this whole spectacle is, how ludicrous. It is a long old tradition, and the old tales certainly seemed to hold some water. Those who were successful did indeed have lengthy reigns and the country was prosperous, and those that were not… well those were not happy times. But who could say if the ritual itself had any bearing on those events? Save perhaps that the unsuccessful monarch had lost the love of his or her life. Grief can do terrible things to a person. Emma has witnessed that daily.</p><p>The thought is enough to shake her resolve, but she clings tightly to her vision and she knows this time will be different, for Regina does not love her the way she loved Daniel. She will not grieve for her.</p><p>August gives her hand one last reassuring squeeze before he disappears into the background.</p><p>Emma feels numb, she looks down at her bare feet and sees the mud squish between them as she wriggles them back and forth. She is not cold, not yet. It is still a beautiful day but her feet are chilly, unused to being unclad. She looks from her feet back to the platform and her heart stops as she sees who is there.</p><p>Sir Archibald Hopper. Archie, one of her parent’s former advisors and closest friends is standing next to Regina, calling the crowd to silence. Emma has known him her whole life.</p><p>Does he recognise her?</p><p>Her heart beats quickly as she considers all plans might be undone if he does. She has not seen him for twenty years at least, but who knows what he remembers of her. He gestures to her with one hand as he addresses the crowd and Emma frowns as she looks up at him. She cannot understand why he is here. Did he turn traitor on her parents before they were killed? Why does Regina look so comfortable in his presence? Archie had retired a few years before the attacks, he had wished to settle down and start a family and Emma had not seen him since. He is much older now, spectacles on his long nose and his red hair streaked with grey. But his eyes are bright as ever and they twinkle in the sunlight as he looks down at her and smiles.</p><p>She smiles back, and her moment of worry passes. It is nice to see such a familiar face right now, when she is in most need of comfort. It does not matter much if he recognises her or not.</p><p>Archie has finished talking and she now looks to Regina. All her feelings and memories come rushing to the surface as she gazes at the woman she loves. She had come here to kill her, with nothing but hatred in her heart. Instead she came to understand her better than anyone in the world because there was no one else who mattered half so much. But the White Kingdom’s ruin and her parent’s murders lay between them, a chasm that cannot be bridged. The lesson of her days is simply this; love is not enough. Whatever the songs might say. Whatever hope it might seem to offer, love is simply not enough to bring her world to rights again. Which was why she was here, this was the vision granted to her; an ending to the terrible, bottomless divisions in her heart.</p><p>She looks up at Regina and drinks in the sight of her, until she holds out her hand and walks determinedly to the edge of the platform. She pulls her arm back and throws the plain gold ring into the depths of the lake. Emma watches it land with a tiny splash and begin to sink. Protocol dictates that she must wait a full minute before she may begin her attempt to retrieve it. She looks up to Archie and sees a nod of his head to indicate she can go. Eyes fixed on the spot she saw the ring disappear, she plunges into the water and swims vigorously towards it, then when she reaches the area she takes a deep breath and dives beneath.</p><p>The water is cold, and the deeper she swims the worse it becomes. She swims to the bottom of the lake and drifts, intent to simply wait until she runs out of air. She gazes along the bottom to see if she can find the ring, she’d like to find it if she can. Everything has a greenish blurred tinge to it and she thinks for a moment that she should have asked Regina for a spell to help her see underwater. No, that could be considered cheating. There doesn’t seem to be anything odd about the lake at all, no water monsters or crocodiles or anything remotely dangerous. Nothing but rocks, and mud, plants and… water… It is an unusually deep lake.</p><p>Then in the distance she see a tiny glint of gold, and a dark shadow. She swims towards it, her limbs already beginning to tire. As she gets closer she can see more clearly. The dark shape is a woman, and in her hand is the ring. She is swimming away from her and Emma follows, the darkness she can see so clearly now is the woman’s dark curling hair spread out around her in the water. Eventually they come to a large rock imbedded on the lake bottom. The woman turns to face her and gestures for her to follow.</p><p>Emma starts violently and almost takes in a mouth full of water. The woman is her mother.</p><p>She realises logically that it can’t be her mother, her mother is dead… but the resemblance is so striking she follows the creature quite willingly and soon finds herself surrounded by a pocket of air as she stands on the smooth surface of the rock. She stares at the woman with the face of her mother. Her hair has instantly dried into the soft curls she remembers so fondly and she wears her mother’s favourite white dress.</p><p>“Hello Emma,” she says in her mother’s musical voice. “I was hoping you’d come.”</p><p>She has heard of creatures like this. This must be a Siren, a creature known for luring unsuspecting victims to their deaths. Still it has her mother’s face, and her voice, and it is hard to shut that out. “Mother?”</p><p>“I’ve been watching you my child, all these years. I’m so sorry I could not protect you,” the Siren says softly, holding out a pale hand to her.</p><p>Emma does not move any closer, she holds very still and tries desperately to remember this isn’t Snow White. “You have my ring.”</p><p>“You mean this?” Snow opens her hand, in it is the plain gold circle Regina had thrown into the water for her.</p><p>“Yes,” Emma says steadily, “Please can I have it back?”</p><p>“I don’t know why you would want it. You know Regina is a monster who deserves nothing kinder than death.”</p><p>Emma frowns. “She is not a monster. You have no idea who she truly is.”</p><p>Snow closes her hand around the ring fiercely. “Oh don’t I? Do you know what she did to me? And to your father?”</p><p>Emma nods, “She has done many terrible things that is true. But she is not a monster. Every tale has two sides to it.”</p><p>“Do you think she regrets it? Would she take it back if she could?”</p><p>“No. I don’t think so.”</p><p>Snow’s eyes flash dangerously as her fists close by her side. “Of course she wouldn’t. And if you take this ring to the surface, if you marry her, it is only a matter of time before she ruins you too, before she destroys you and the whole Kingdom with you. She is nothing but poison.”</p><p>Emma feels anger rising to the surface, she clenches her own fists and leans close to Snow. “She is <em>not </em>poison. You know nothing of her true self. No one knows her the way I do. She has brought prosperity to this kingdom and she will continue to do so. She has made mistakes and she grieves. She will unite the people behind her with or without my help. She is kind, she is intelligent and she has a great capacity to love. You cannot poison me against her, I will love her long after I have left this world whether that is this moment or in fifty years. She is my everything. It matters not that she does not love me in return. I will love her <em>always</em>. No matter who you look like you cannot dissuade me. Even if you were my mother it would not matter. I will choose her every time.”</p><p>And just like that Emma realises that she has chosen. She has chosen Regina. Her parents are her past, and she mourns them still, she always will. But Regina, she has been her future. Perhaps in a way she still is.</p><p>The Siren shimmers and writhes and takes a new form. This time she is more like a mermaid, with soft green scales all over and shining gold hair. She smiles at Emma, who has inadvertently taken a step back. “Well done, child.”</p><p>Emma just looks at her, as she feels the wetness of tears run down her cheeks.</p><p>The Siren opens her hand once again to reveal the ring. “This is yours. You have earned it. True love, real love, is the only way to pass this test.”</p><p>Emma takes the ring, confused. “True love? How can it be real if she does not love me back?”</p><p>The Siren laughs softly. “You foolish girl. Regina has loved you ever since she first laid eyes on you. How else could the truth have hurt her so badly?”</p><p>Emma looks from the ring in her hand to the Siren’s face. Her eyes are a deep blue, and they gaze upon her kindly.</p><p>“You must go now,” the Siren says, “You have already stayed too long.”</p><p>Emma opens her mouth to say thank you before realising that the Siren has left, and her mouth is full of water. She struggles to breath and kicks away from the rock as hard as she can. She is suddenly filled with the desire to see Regina again; she does not care if Regina is not capable of loving her any longer, she just wants to see her face. Her limbs begin to tire and her lungs give out. She can see the surface, she can see light and a shape… a dark shape. She gives a final kick of her legs before blackness overtakes her.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>When she comes to she is coughing, and water pours out of her lungs.</p><p>“Emma? Emma please open your eyes.”</p><p>Emma tries but she can’t seem to right now, she feels warm arms wrap around her and soft lips kiss her cheek. Regina. She tries to speak but nothing comes out.</p><p>“Emma please, I cannot lose you. My love, come back to me. I lost Daniel, I cannot lose you both or I will die.” Regina’s voice wavers and breaks but to Emma it sounds glorious.</p><p>“Regina?” she murmurs, and it comes out cracked and croaking.</p><p>“Emma! Oh my love, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Regina cries, as she pulls Emma close to her chest.</p><p>“I’m sorry too.” Emma tries to say, but coughs again. She realises they are still in the shallows of the lake and they are surrounded by guards. She tries to stand but falters and Regina puts an arm around her to steady her. The guards are pulling at Regina, trying to disengage her, but she will have none of it. They struggle to the shore where a white faced August is waiting with a thick warm blanket.</p><p>They end up back in the tent where Emma had prepared for the dive earlier that day. It seems like a long time ago now. There are so many people. August and Archie, and Maleficent… not to mention the multitude of guards. It is overwhelming.</p><p>Regina orders them all out, except for August who Emma reaches a hand to. He remains by her side silently.</p><p>Regina is still drenched from the lake, while Emma has been found warm dry clothes it seems Regina will not allow any fuss to be made of herself. Instead she wraps another blanket around Emma and holds her hands tightly. “You must never do anything so foolish again. I cannot risk you. Emma, I am so sorry for how I treated you. I reacted badly, so badly I almost lost you forever.”</p><p>“I love you Regina.” Emma whispers, this is the only thing that seems important to say now.</p><p>“I love you too my darling.”</p><p>“Why are you wet? You should not have come into the lake at all… You were on the platform.” Emma frowns, as she reaches out a hand to touch Regina wet hair. “It’s not allowed.”</p><p>“Emma, do you know how long you were under for?”</p><p>“No…”</p><p>Regina’s voice breaks slightly, “It was over twenty minutes. When you did not resurface after a minute or two I began to panic. I left the platform and ran to the lake shore. My guards tried to stop me, as did Sir Hopper but I could not let you drown. When you still did not resurface I entered the lake. I had to shake off the guards but I searched for you. Over and over, until you eventually resurfaced,” she says, as she finally allows August to drape a warm blanket over her shoulders.</p><p>“Oh…” Emma says faintly, overwhelmed.</p><p>“What happened down there, my love? It is a miracle you’re alive.”</p><p>Emma looks down at her still closed fist, “I learned the truth.” She opens her hand to reveal the gold ring, then bursts into tears.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>The following evening Regina finally lets Emma out of her sight long enough to speak to Archie alone. The previous day had been exhausting, both mentally and physically. Once Emma had produced the ring word quickly got out that the dive had been successful, despite the Queen’s entering the lake. The crowd gathered were ecstatic and large cheers could be heard on and off for the rest of the day and well into the evening.</p><p>Emma did not care to hear it. She was happy for the first time in her adult life, content with the decision she had made, but her mind still drifted to her parents… She was also so tired she could scarcely ride back to the castle, and both Regina and August had to help her. It was a long ride, taking twice the time as it should have. Upon arriving home Regina ordered August to collect Emma’s belongings from the Serai, she was never to return there.</p><p>Emma wonders idly as she waits in the sitting room of Regina’s suite, now their suite, if this coddling will last. Regina is a headstrong woman, used to being obeyed without question. She suspects their marriage will take some getting used to.</p><p>Their wedding was supposed to be that evening, but Regina has postponed it, as she stated Emma was certainly too weak. Emma herself believes she could have managed perfectly well, but does not wish to upset Regina by saying so. Besides, no harm will come from waiting a week or two.</p><p>“Princess Emma?” Archie asks gently, as he stands before her.</p><p>She had not even heard him come in. “Just Emma, please.”</p><p>He smiles at her kindly. “You have always been Princess to me, ever since you were a baby.”</p><p>She gestures to him to sit opposite her.</p><p>“You wished to speak with me?” he asks.</p><p>“Did you recognise me? Yesterday before the dive?” she asks quietly.</p><p>“Princess, I recognised you ten years ago when you first came to the Serai and were presented to the Queen.” Archie says seriously.</p><p>“You did?” Emma is shocked to hear this, and a tiny spark of anger takes hold.</p><p>“Of course I did. You have your parent’s fire. Especially your mother’s. I could not understand why the Queen could not see it. I thought she was going to capture and kill you immediately. But she did not, she took you into the Serai. I was shocked, and concerned, but I too was trying to move on with my life and stay out of her clutches.  She knew I was still alive of course, but as I had retired she did not see me as a threat large enough to bother with. Had I started enquiring about you, it would have been a different story. I did not wish to risk it, either for you or for myself. I had to trust that you knew what you were doing, you clearly were there of your own free will.” Archie leans back in his chair, as if speaking this has lifted a weight from his chest.</p><p>Emma’s anger fades as quickly as it rose. She understands his reasons completely. Besides, he owed her nothing. “I understand. I am surprised you recognised me though, I was a young child the last time I saw you.”</p><p>“You are royalty,” he says simply, as though that explains everything.</p><p>“I wonder what they would think of me now?” she muses.</p><p>“Your parents?” he asks.</p><p>Emma nods, a lump rising in her throat. “I can only imagine, and when I do it is never good.”</p><p>Arche frowns slightly, and leans forward. “Perhaps that is your problem.”</p><p>“What is?”</p><p>“Emma, your parents are dead. There is little point imagining what they would make of the last ten years. They are not here, and they have not been faced with all that you have. It matters not what they would think. You are here, and you are trying to do right by your people, as you have always done. Take comfort in that.” he says seriously.</p><p>Emma gives him a tiny smile, his words have lessened the weight she still feels in her chest. “Regina offered to abdicate the crown to me. She wishes to make my identity known.”</p><p>“She is serious?” Archie raises his eyebrows in surprise when Emma nods. “And what do you wish?”</p><p>“I do not think I want that. I want to move on, to put the past behind us. The important thing is that Regina now knows the truth, I could not bear lying to her. But I do not wish to dwell on it, and I do not want our people to be confused or to suffer further upheaval.”</p><p>Archie nods. “This is wise, Emma. It is far better to make a fresh start. Wars are fought and rebellions happen, it is not those acts that matter but what comes from them. Regina did a terrible thing to your parents, and to your kingdom. But she is trying now to be a good ruler and to bring the country together.  With you by her side I have no doubt she will succeed. Better to remain Emma Swan.”</p><p>Emma nods, as yet another weight is lifted.</p><p>Archie stands. “For what it’s worth Emma, I believe your parents would be very proud of you.”</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>A few days later Emma is almost fully recovered, or at least recovered enough to make a short journey by horseback. Regina accompanies her, somewhat reluctantly though she has little choice if she wishes to look out for her.</p><p>Emma does not mind the company, she does not wish to be apart from Regina for even a moment. Their marriage has been set for the following day and Emma wants to get this task behind them before they are wed. The day is once again fine, though the leaves are starting to turn. It is quite a beautiful journey and Emma almost feels as though they are alone and not being followed by half of Regina’s guard. She must get used to this now. The security since Cora’s attempt on Regina’s life has tripled, and while they have not discussed it yet she knows Regina will soon rise against Misthaven. War is certainly on the horizon.</p><p>They arrive at their destination and Regina quickly dismounts in order to help Emma, who rolls her eyes. “Regina, I am not an invalid. I’m much better.”</p><p>“It matters not. It is my job to care for you.” Regina says seriously.</p><p>“Your footmen would say otherwise.” Emma smirks with a glance to the attendants standing to her left.</p><p>“Would they?” Regina asks lightly, sliding her eyes to look at them.</p><p>Emma almost laughs at the look of terror on their faces. “You’re breaking protocol and making them feel useless.”</p><p>Regina tosses her head. “They will cope I’m sure. Which way is it?”</p><p>Emma gestures to their right towards a small clearing. “Archie told me they are through here.”</p><p>At the back of the clearing nestled under a large oak tree are two mounds. They are unmarked, and have clearly not been visited in years. Wild snowbells have grown over them, pushing their way through fallen leaves and weeds.</p><p>Emma kneels quietly in front of them, and absently pulls a few weeds, and pushes away some of the leaves. Tears begin to fall as she looks at the resting place of her parents.</p><p>“Would you like me to leave you alone?” Regina asks softly.</p><p>Emma shakes her head. “No. Please stay.”</p><p>“Alright.” Regina says awkwardly, and lowers herself to kneel next to Emma. She sighs as she looks at the graves. “Your father was a good man. I am sorry for what I did to him.”</p><p>“And my mother?”  </p><p>Regina turns to Emma, and takes her hands. “I wish I could say I am sorry, and mean it... I do not wish to lie to you. I do not think I will ever be able to forgive Snow for she did. It is not in my nature to forgive.”</p><p>“You forgave me,” Emma says, turning to look back at the graves.</p><p>“You were different. Your only crime was loving me.”</p><p>Emma does not point out that she first intended to assassinate her, and then fell in love. She thinks it better that stays in the past.</p><p>“Emma, are you sure you do not wish to tell the people who you are? They deserve to know.” Regina asks.</p><p>Emma shakes her head. “No. It will only cause more confusion, and possibly even civil war. We cannot afford that. Besides our people deserve peace.”</p><p>“We’re about to go to war with my mother.”</p><p>“Even more reason. Let the past die my love. But perhaps…”</p><p>Regina squeezes her hand. “Yes?”</p><p>“Perhaps you could remove the spell on my family name? I understand why you can’t bring yourself to forgive my mother, but it was my name too. And my father’s. Please allow it to be spoken once again.” Emma turns to Regina. “Please do this for me. Please?”</p><p>Regina smiles sadly at her, and reaches out to brush the hair away from her eyes. “I will do it for you. Not for her.”</p><p>Emma sighs in relief and throws herself forward into Regina’s embrace. “Thank you. Oh thank you.”</p><p>“Is there anything else?” Regina asks, stroking her hair. “Now would be the time to ask, as I cannot guarantee I will be this malleable again any time soon.”</p><p>Emma pulls back. “Could we perhaps mark their resting place? Just with head stones?”</p><p>Regina nods silently.</p><p>Emma kisses her deeply. “I was wrong. It is enough.”</p><p>“What is?”</p><p>“Love,” Emma replies, as she looks down at her parents graves. “Love is always enough.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Finis</em>
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